Random Thoughts

Valentine's Day

2012-02-14T21:52:00.000-07:00

Finn's reaction to his Valentine cookie, Grandma takes it off his hands, Valentine dinner, Dennen's entree, Finn calms

Our Amazing Future

2012-02-14T11:44:00.002-07:00

A few posts have been made enjoying the humorous events that grace my workplace. On the other side of the coin is tremendous evidence of a bright future for humanity due to a rising generation of hard-working, motivated and inspiring individuals. Here are things I've seen them do as their footsteps have trod the miles through university life:

attend school after having traveled home and back to attend the funeral of a parent or sibling
voice expressions of gratitude for the opportunity to learn and attend school
check off lists of requirements to serve humanity in the role of dentist, accountant, teacher, publicist, business manager, historian, archaeologist, counselor, father, engineer, social worker, biologist, researcher, mathematician, mother, environmentalist, coach, ...
show enthusiasm and excitement for their chosen area of learning
work full time and attend school full time
travel and study abroad in Scotland, Israel, England, Tonga, Japan, Thailand, Italy, Austria, Wales, France, Brazil, Ecuador, New Zealand, ...
schedule school around weddings, surgeries, missions, emergencies at home, chronic illness, employment
enjoy giving service
commute 50 miles on UTA to attend school and work
spend their entire time at school from out of state without a car
spend their own hard-earned money for what cannot be seen inside the skull
complete their educational goals without genius, funds, or luck - just grit and guts
enroll in a sea of 20-somethings as a 50-something with only the memory of classes taken as a 20-something
rise above a background of defeat and discouragement
sacrifice home, health, and comfort to complete internships far away from conveniences, home and children
attend a semester living in the dorms for just one class, with residency and children left in Arizona
survive on 4 hours sleep each night two or more straight weeks
go it alone
set their own standards
realize that they are solely responsible for their future
enroll in my class because they see the importance of home and family
recognize a clean, moral environment
say "thank you"

Pork Chops and BLEACH

2012-02-13T14:50:00.003-07:00

ReAlLy ????

At work, we provide sanitizing solution
(1 tsp. bleach to 1 quart water) in a spray bottle to clean surfaces that have come in contact with the meat.

You guessed it, a student decided to spray the surface of the PORK CHOP.

Unbelieveable

2012-02-12T23:20:00.001-07:00

Tis true!
This can is the genuine result of three university-educated students putting their heads together when using a hand can opener to open a can of tomato sauce. The student with the opener in hand explained that she HAD NEVER USED A CAN OPENER BEFORE. This is sadness. They used our good high quality chef's knives to finish off the job. I pray that there were no severed tendons.

I love my job - always the unexpected !

Cool Bag

2012-02-12T23:02:00.000-07:00

Overheard:

Nurse: When you get home, put ice on your eye to reduce the swelling. A bag of frozen peas works well.

Patient: We don't have frozen peas. What about canned peas?

Why God?

2012-02-12T23:01:00.000-07:00

Where do i turn for peace,

Where is my solace?

When other sources seem to make me whole?

When with a wounded heart, anger or malice,

I draw myself apart, searching my soul.

Where when my aching grows,

Where when I languish?

Where in my need to know, where can I run?

Where is the quiet hand to calm my anguish?

Who, Who, can understand? He only He.

He answers privately, reaching my reaching,

In my Gethsemane, Savior and friend.

Gently the peace he finds for my beseeching,

Constant he is and kind, Love without end.

Carpooling and the VERY BAD Mother

2012-02-10T14:26:00.002-07:00

She was mean, perhaps too mean, but also very tough-skinned when one of her offspring exclaimed, "You are a wicked woman!" Growing up, she lived 2 miles from her elementary school, wore dresses to school and walked bare-legged through the snow to class. Favorite memories included wading in icy puddles just deep enough for the water to crest the top of her galoshes, walking of the top of iced-over snowfall and counting how many steps could be taken before falling through, and running like mad when the abominable snowman was lurking on Mount Timpanogos (thanks to a great story-telling big sister.) Maybe this serves as an explanation for her behavior.

The neighborhood organized a carpool when her sweeties were all in grade school. Aghast, at the mention of providing a tool for creating soft generations of the future, she politely declined the invitation to join. The long distance of 5 blocks seemed a laughable reason to coddle the young. So, being stubborn, tough as jerky left in the Utah desert sun for the duration of summer, she forced her poor children to walk to school through all seasons. "There is no bad weather, just poorly outfitted humans," was a quote indelibly inscribed deep within her gray matter.

Over the pulpit at church, she shrank low in her pew when a fine member of the congregation explained that because his junior high aged daughter missed the bus (a distance of three houses) on a regular basis, his relationship with her had grown strong with the little chats that they were able to have over the two mile Suburban ride to school. Ashamedly, she realized that she had been a VERY BAD mother. Not only did her children have to walk to grade school, but they were forced to walk the two miles to the junior high if they missed the bus and thus those deep, bonding, closeness-enabling chatting moments were lost forever.

In her later years, she mused wistfully with perhaps a tear or two in her eyes as she passed the grade school and watched the long line of cars dropping off children in 45-degree, clear weather, knowing that the cars would return later in the day as the little darlings called home with requests for the delivery of their forgotten lunches. She also realized that these beautiful children would be greeted at the door by their lovely mothers ushering them in with plates of freshly-baked homemade cookies. Her offspring enjoyed no such luxuries.

Despite her cruelty, each of her children had somehow grown into magnificent adults, each tough in their own way. Their saving grace must have been their wonderful father and the pitying neighbors who allowed them to join the carpool when winds were 70 mph, or temperatures dipped to -11.

I Consider Myself an Athlete

2012-02-09T10:06:00.000-07:00

While conversing with a TA at work, it became apparent that I am not seen as what I think I am. She is a PE major and VERY funny....lot's of great stories. As we have swapped tales, the expression on her face as she honestly exclaims, "Sister Smith, I just can't see you doing that," when I speak of anything that involves athleticism: running, skiing, biking, winning triathlons, canoeing across the Great Lakes, etc. You get the picture.

Honeycomb Canyon at Solitude

The gym rat lifestyle does not suit me, so in all honesty, I have realized that I am not an athlete during December and January. Chocolate and high-fat foods give me the cranked up high that thrill-seeking activities deliver other months.

Something about my appearance, or perhaps my occupation, simply does not place me in the group where individuals are pegged immediately as fitness buffs. Perhaps I shall pump iron.

Birthday Celebration

2011-12-19T08:36:00.001-07:00

It was a dark and lonely night, the fog so thick that it was difficult to stumble from lamppost to lamppost. Struggle we did, and slowly made it from building to building, praying for an open door that would take us in from the frigid night air. Everyone dutifully carried bags of hope, filled with their food assignment; pickles, olives, salad, fruit, cheese, meat, even party hats, noisemakers, and tablecloth.

Alas, hope was dashed as each and every door was found locked and only darkness peered out through blackened windows into the darkness where we shivered. As we numbly opened car doors to relinquish our food bags and admit defeat, we knew that Josh would stand sad and sullen-faced when the explanation was made that there would be no picnic for him this cold December night.

One last chance, one beacon of hope, one light in the darkness remained. Perhaps we could sneak past the ushers, actors, and building maintenance crew and set up our picnic in the basement of Pioneer Theater. In we went, one-by-one, hauling our food assignments once again, making no eye contact with anyone who might question us, to our secret destination. Three ottomans sighted and drawn together made our place of celebration.

SUCCESS! A PICNIC IN DECEMBER - AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY JOSH!

Kicking It Into Gear

2011-12-14T08:24:00.000-07:00

The sound of slap-slap-clump-slap-slap-clump intensified as its source neared the feelin'-good-today runner. A thought of pity crossed her mind and she realized by the sound of the approach, that her companion on this clear crisp morning must be somewhat handicapped. She slowed to more closely listen and prepared for a fellow runner exchange of pleasantries. The gait was loud and uneven, but approached surprisingly quickly.

An expression of bewilderment fell across her face when she realized that her comrade of fitness was none other than a black marshmallow with arms. No face, no hands were visible on the 8-year-old child who had pulled them safely into his puffy parka warding off the icy air. Slap-slap-clump-slap-slap-clump sliced the sounds of the quiet AM. A bundle of buddies hunkered against a wind safe school wall, awaiting the arrival of their pal and the scheduled opening of the doors.

Two steps ahead of her his 40 pound backpack fell from its thigh-high perch to the ground. CLUMP! In the instant that she thought that perhaps she should offer to help, the pack was swooped from the ground, returned to its perch, and resumed its clumping on the back of the black marshmallow child. Small feet slap-slapped onward.

The feeling of perky fitness drained from her heart watching this young marshmallow child streak toward his destination, gleefully unaware of the anchor of textbooks strung to him. She had been lapped. Cognizant to the fact that she was at full throttle gave way to new inspiration. "I must kick it into gear if I am to run like a 3rd grader."

Sweater Slam

2011-12-12T17:37:00.000-07:00

With great care and pride, I manage my Christmas sweater inventory, never desiring to be an embarrassment to my offspring. As a result, only two sweaters remain in my closet (see example #1 below).

A friend recently sent out an email request for an ugly Christmas sweater that she could borrow to attend a party mocking those who sport the hideous light-up versions. Mentally, I noted that I would be unable to help her because my collection only contains tasteful pieces.

Feeling festive and rather stylish, I confidently browsed the aisles at Macy's, looking for fun Christmas jewelry to give as gifts at next year's tree day celebration.

When I happened upon the round display table of awful pins, I commented to a young clerk, "Wow, do you ever sell these ugly things?"

She replied, "Yes, I don't understand it, but we really sell a lot of them."

After I smugly raised my eyebrows, she added, "You could get one to go with your sweater." Guess I should have loaned the sweater out.

Wisdom

2011-12-10T14:47:00.001-07:00

funny flip-flopped folks

shedding shivering shadows

across arctic asphalt

knobby knees knocking

frigid fingers frozen

seek shelter shakily

chins crimping chestward

heads hunckered hopelessly

wondering where warming was

spiked shoes slip sliding

forcing feeble femurs

down desperately downward

frigid fannies fall

plummet pathetically

smacking, slamming, soilbound

wise winter warriors

amused among amateurs

see science in seasons

chuckling, calumphing

merry masked meanders

seen slit-sighted scarf squinting

head, hands, hearts, heated

when wisdom is working

frost flat-out forgives

pleasant participants

forward-forging forth from

enveloped environments

weathering winter

prompts practical planning

when warriors win wisdom

Pinky

2011-12-05T14:58:00.001-07:00

Dear Mr. Pinky Toenail:

Are you kidding me? Supposedly you serve a purpose, but I am perplexed by your minuscule existence upon my pinky toe.

Are you offended by my neglect during clean-under-the-nail procedures? Skipping you altogether causes no remorse on my part.

Honestly, were you a mistake within the complexities of the human genome? During copious clipping engagements you are left to your own ingenuity to later remain unsnagged upon my cashmere sock.

Do you feel that you are worthy of even the fumes that fill the room during a painting of your other piggie team members? I think not, my friend, and I have taken to ignoring the 1/16th of a square inch that you occupy.

Consider yourself disowned, abandoned, warned, neglected, ignored. You turn your petty little face arrogantly away from your fellow piggies totally ignoring the visual inspection of your conscientious tender.

I courageously hobble to stand and declare:

Expect nothing!

Unless.... you threaten, once again, to painfully abort yourself from host piggy and embed yourself into the leg of that blasted high chair.

Ready to GO!!!!

2011-12-03T07:43:00.001-07:00

7 a.m. and I am ready to go......anxious.....filled with hope.....glee....excitement. There is a skiff-a-new on the lawn (not a little animal that hides in the bushes on cold mornings). A bit of new snow send me to the ski closet to check my gear. But first, I check the reports - 2 inches on a 24 inch base - hmmm. Then I check the mountain cams. If there are 2 inches, then the 85 mph winds blew it all away - hmmm. Then I check the ticket prices - $78 to ski rocks - hmmm. Me thinketh not.

We shall go Christmas shopping for charity and make a gingerbread house :)

Just so Cute!

2011-12-01T22:39:00.001-07:00

Finn brings giggles and laughs to all.

His latest love is his animals and he carries
ALL OF THEM at ONCE.

It is quite a sight, him with the whole gang: hippo, pig, elmo, giraffe, dog. None can be left behind as he totes the whole lot!

It warms this old granny's heart,

Mystery Injury

2011-12-01T07:35:00.001-07:00

During the night, my finger was hurting. Odd, but sleep sporadically prevailed until those early morning hours when the brain starts to kick in and the finger became more of a nuisance.

With a paper-cut ringman finger from yesterday, it was not until I realized that the pain was coming from longman, not ringman, that I became aware of a new injury.

Who gets a laceration at night?

Sure enough, upon examination, a bloody and lacerated longman was what had disturbed those precious nighttime hours. Dear hubby said that I must have caught longman on the headboard during my nightly thrashing/tossing/turning approach to sleep.

Blogger tip: DO NOT look for an image to post on your blog using the words "finger cut" before breakfast. "Bandage" returns a much safer collection of pictures.

Non-Christian Zone

2011-11-30T16:56:00.001-07:00

The closer I drive to my employment destination, the more insane and cut-throat the drivers. Ironic, in that my destination is an employer of "uber-mo's." Only those in our group of a "peculiar people," understand the meaning of "uber-mo." In our race to the Celestial Kingdom, this really happens:

cyclists must ride in the gutter as cars will run them over and they are not allowed on sidewalks
the right-hand lane next to the sidewalk is a high-speed passing zone
speeds exceed 60 mph on Canyon Road and top out at 80 mph passing LaVell's stadium
drivers accelerate through crosswalks if a pedestrian is not squarely centered on the car's radiator
no eye contact is made with other drivers so the "I am Christian if I didn't see you" cut-off can be accomplished
a minimum of 5 cars must turn left on a red light
squealing of tires can be heard in parking garages as drivers vie for coveted spots
under no circumstance is anyone allowed to merge into traffic
both cyclists and pedestrians crossing at an intersection are flattened if a driver can turn right on a red and beat oncoming traffic
fasting is required to exit your car as each parking spot must accommodate 1.5 cars
all cursing is done without lip movement so as to appear kind and within the bounds of our honor code

After five years of observing these odd behaviors, it makes one wonder about the transition from Sunday School class to daily life. Pedal to the metal baby......and show no fear....

Happy Birthday

2011-11-29T16:19:00.000-07:00

Birthdays this month for Garth and Dennen. A fun birthday dinner included Homemade Turkey Noodle Soup, Light Pumpernickel Bread, Whipped Grape/Raspberry Jello, and Cake with Dream Whip Frosting.

That goofy face of Finn's is what he does when we tell him, "Say cheese!"

Great times!

Apple Store

2011-11-29T10:55:00.001-07:00

Just an observation - Is this a required look for employees in any Apple Store?

Snot on My Shoulder

2011-11-27T20:10:00.001-07:00

Gladdenings of My Heart:

snot on my shoulder - cause I've been loved by our smallest one

pat on the head - cause the black-haired youngest offspring has lovingly passed behind my chair

masterful gift wrapping with perfect curly ribbons - cause the sandwiched daughter adds extra love as a finishing touch

goofy face in family photos - cause hairless son-in-law fills the left ventricle of my heart

words of thanks - cause red-headed gal thinks to acknowledge the little things

helpful hands - cause the tallest one sees my fatigue

bright side of things noticed - cause the humorist in the eldest son always sees it

turkey carcass in my soup pot - cause thoughts of a sister's turkey carcass simultaneously submerged pop into my brain

wide-stance-hands-in-pockets musings - cause moments observing or listening to my brother link laugh, language, and Lairdisms back a generation or two

calls or visits perfectly timed - cause my mother always knows

heartwarming stories - cause my dad shares them with love, wisdom, and humor

efforts given - cause my father-in-law does everything possible to assist

bulwark of strength - cause my eternal companion is by my side loving, forgiving, strengthening, and listening

Tree Day

2011-11-26T20:47:00.000-07:00

Grandma Jensen started the tradition with her Tree Trimming Party, when 27 grandchildren were invited to come help trim her tree with years-old ornaments, electrical taped lights, and new boxes of icicles. After the tree was trimmed, we were treated to her wonderful pineapple milkshakes (made with raw milk from Uncle Paul's cows).

Helping my mom with her home decorations was always a joy because I felt that she had the most beautiful decorations placed all throughout the house. As a child, I felt that our home should be featured in Better Homes and Gardens.

My sister, Denise, re-invented the tradition and marked the day after Thanksgiving as its date. I look forward to the day with great anticipation and sit back and marvel at the Spirit of Christmas that is felt as we share time together.

Spokane Sister Time

2011-11-10T21:05:00.000-07:00

A great time was had in Spokane with my sister as we laughed, talked, shopped, talked, ate, talked, drove, ate, talked and sewed together!

Discovered Wisdom

Buggy Barn Visit

So Many Choices

Stitching Flying Geese

Knit Shop

Sewing Room Sisters

Excellence in Dining - Greg Allowed

Savings Account Busters

New Grandbaby Quilts

Olive Oil Shop

Dining - Again

Canned Food for Charity

Snowman Quilts

Completion: Two Snowman Quilts and Two Baby Quilts

October

2011-10-30T19:38:00.003-06:00

Mom's Birthday Party and Halloween Preparations !!!

The Hearth Monster

Ready for Trick-or-Treating and Ward Party

If....

2011-10-26T21:08:00.000-06:00

If a person must begin a question with, "If you don't mind me asking," then DON'T ASK!!!

Friday & Saturday

2011-10-16T19:57:00.001-06:00

Alta is ready for us.

Priming the snow machine and testing the lifts.

Relaxation at a SLC bed and breakfast.

Dave's Killer Bread

2011-10-07T15:53:00.000-06:00

As I stood in the aisle at Costco with my monster of a shopping cart, my eye caught a very interesting label.

"Just say no to bread on drugs!"

"Killer taste and texture."

Seems that Dave had spent some time in the pen sorting out his life.

"I was a four-time loser before I realized I was in the wrong game. 15 years in prison is a pretty tough way to find oneself, but I have no regrets. This time around, I took advantage of all those long and lonely days by practicing my guitar, exercising, and getting to know myself – without drugs. To my utter amazement, I started liking what I was seeing. It’s been said adversity introduces a man to himself and I found this to be true. If I had not suffered, I can safely assure you that you would not be reading this label on a loaf of my killer bread. A whole lot of suffering has transformed an ex-con into an honest man who is doing his best to make the world a better place…one loaf of bread at a time.”

After reading about his loser life, I bought his bread just because of the label . Check it out.

When I got home, I even watched the movie on his web site. He looks just like the picture on the label.

The bread ain't bad either.

Master Gardener

2011-10-06T15:30:00.000-06:00

I learned:

the best place to cut off a limb is the branch collar ridge
60 to 70 degree angles are best for branches coming out from the trunk
pruners love their bypass pruners like chefs love a good knife
there are three cuts to make when removing a heavy limb

How Do You Cook a Duck?

2011-10-05T11:28:00.000-06:00

Every now and again a student comes along that makes one laugh out loud, who is so totally uninhibited and full of life that it takes one's breath away with the bizarre stories and comments delivered on a regular basis. I have a feeling that I will have an arsenal or stories by semester end. I should have been writing more of them down. See previous post:

Guns and Vinegar

Recently a couple of new stories made me laugh. Since "Joe" is a hunter I asked him if he had any good recipes for duck. Without batting an eye, he replied, "Why, yes Sister Smith, I do. First you must totally skin the duck, clean it and prepare it whole. Soak a cedar board in water and place the duck on it. Then slow cook the duck on the board in the oven for about 3 1/2 hours. When it's done, take it out, remove the duck from the board and eat the board." He went on to say that he really didn't like duck, that it tasted like "a cross between a Big-O tire and liver."

Riddle

2011-10-04T14:34:00.003-06:00

What do you call an ocean full of noodles?

-Apostasy-

Master Gardeners

2011-10-04T14:31:00.000-06:00

my babies that are now safe inside

Enrollment is full and I made it into the class. There I sat, shoulder to shoulder will fellow soil, compost, pest, propagation, and new-tender-green-thing comrades.

The excitement was palpable as we sampled tomatoes, took soil sample cores, evaluated each other's soil brought from home in canning jars, and shared best practices. The course is every Tuesday and Thursday from now until December 1, at which time true gardeners give it up for a month and begin again with seeds, mail order catalogs, planning, and seedlings in January. On Tuesday I learned:

have your soil tested by a county agent, just mail in the sample
don't trust those selling "top soil", have it tested
use the special recipe for soil from Square Foot Gardening for raised beds because of compaction
at 35 - 38 degrees, your tomatoes are toast
ripen tomatoes until late November by bringing them indoors to a cool location
the earwig infestation in Utah is due to too much watering
it takes three years for proper ripening of compost
eco scrap has the best compost, lowest salinity

Holy Culinary Gag-Fest

2011-10-03T21:12:00.000-06:00

In an attempt to choose more healthy snacks, I concocted a raspberry smoothie using soy milk, raspberries, and (supposedly) spinach. The lovely package of spinach from the freezer looked particularly fresh and green, so after putting half of the baggie in the blender, I thought, "What the heck!" and dumped the whole thing in. Spinach is flavorless in smoothies and very good for one. After the first throwback of the drink, however, I detected something amiss. My memory instantly cleared and I remember telling Hilary to freeze the leftover cilantro for future use.

GAG!

Not to be defeated, I threw in a lovely fresh peach, thinking that I might just be a culinary weakling. Second throwback, not even a possibility. A total waste: soy milk, raspberries, cilantro, and a beautiful peach (sorry Ashley and Paul).

Favorites

2011-10-02T21:40:00.000-06:00

Here are some of my favorite quotes from the October 2011 General Conference of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints:

Look how far you've come.
Teach as Christ would teach.
Sin has many faces. It leads some to revel in their own perceived self-worth, accomplishments, talents, wealth, or position. They count these blessings as evidence of being “chosen,” “superior,” or “more righteous” than others. This is the sin of “Thank God I am more special than you.”
We have promised to become charitable. We promised to become witnesses of God. We promised to endure.
"My brothers and sisters, I declare to you, that there is nothing which can bring more joy into our lives or more peace to our souls than the spirit which can come to us as we follow the Savior and keep the commandments." Thomas S. Monson

....milestones....

2011-10-01T23:23:00.000-06:00

....sigh....

2011-09-30T16:27:00.000-06:00

you let me down,

i feel so low,

eleven seconds,

left to go,

my spirits soared,

my heart was glad,

but then it turn out,

really bad,

i've waited years,

this day to come,

your play it turned out,

somewhat dumb,

so with my head,

upon my chest,

a weary Ag fan,

cheered her best.

We Do Not Golf

2011-09-29T16:09:00.001-06:00

As we sat on the beautiful patio at Sleepy Ridge Golf Course eating lunch, enjoying the fall flowers and the scenic mountain backdrop, I commented on how disgusting it was that they had installed little urinals on all the golf carts.

"I guess the neighbors got tired of all the men peeing in their backyards," I wisely informed my friends.

"But what do the women do?" Jan commented.

"They must have to go in, just like in skiing," Brenda replied.

"The ski resorts finally had to post signs so that people (the men) would quit peeing in the trees because it goes into the water supply." ...sighing and shaking of heads...

Hospital Bedside Urinal

"How do they keep it from sloshing out as they go over the bumps?" Conna asked.

"They should at least paint them a solid color. Can you imagine what they look like full?" I added.

After our lovely lunch, on our walk back to the car, Brenda announced that she was going to ask some male golfers how they used them. I just assumed that the procedure would be the same as in hospitals.

Horrified at Brenda's boldness, Conna and I ducked behind a bush, but overheard, "Oh, they are divot fillers. You sprinkle dirt in the holes where your clubs damage the grass.....laughter....more laughter...nope, we don't pee in them."

"Well that's a relief, at least it explains the brown color in some of them," I exclaimed to Conna as we emerged from behind the bush.

Reverse Mohawk

2011-09-28T21:43:00.004-06:00

I come from a family of vivid dreamers. The other night I dreamed my head was really hot. When I looked in the mirror, all the hair on the back of my head and over the top in an even 3-inch band was reduced to one-eighth inch black stubble. I remember thinking, "Geeze, how can I style my remaining hair to cover up this black forest of whiskers?"

I woke up and my head was, indeed, really hot.

But I still had hair.

Go AGGIES!!!

2011-09-27T23:08:00.001-06:00

For years, no decades, Utah State has had a stinker football program. Not since the days of Merlin Olson have the Aggies been able to hold their heads up and say, "Okay BYU get your own blue!" Did you know that BYU's blue used to be bright blue? They stole USU's blue. Anyway, last year the miracle happened when the cougars were trounced.

In anticipation of the big game Friday I made a new apron proudly displaying our family loyalty to USU. Not wanting to join the unemployed, however, I added some Y paycheck insurance and am telling my students that, "I come from a house divided." Some of them get it.

To put it kindly, I hope USU beats the snot out of BYU - so there.

Grasshoppers

2011-09-26T22:21:00.000-06:00

They are to be hated. If one grew up trudging through cheat grass fields on the daily journey to Hillcrest Elementary, the aversion to these hopping, grasping, gnawing, clinging monsters was a given, especially for the gals. The role of the male gender at Hillcrest, especially in the fall when grasshoppers seemed most abundant, was to throw dismembered, twitching body parts on the exposed skin of the ladies.

Back in the day, skirts were required, just at the knee, fall, winter and spring so there was plenty of target areas exposed for the joy of sending the gals screaming, while wildly stomping with windmill arms lashing in all directions. Evil cackling laughter always filled the ears of those fleeing in terror. Clear memories that would qualify for a horror flick are deep in the gray matter of those who suffered grasshopper attack. Visions of stomped on green slime matter with protruding crooked leg parts profane the very dignity of recess time.

'Tis a miracle that there was not more mental damage done to those who endured. However, hubbie does have to venture down the path 20 feet ahead of my approach if there any of the little demons lurking nearby, beating the grass with a stick, making a clicking sound, stomping his feet, while hollering, "Get thee hence beasties, for the hour of thy destruction is nigh!" Our marriage endures a lot.

Fall Garden

2011-09-21T18:59:00.000-06:00

Bacon n Bikin'

2011-09-16T17:13:00.000-06:00

Perhaps because of the clarity of the early morning air, perhaps air carries a scent more directly in the wee hours, or perhaps the lightening fast speed which I travel delivers the little scent molecules more forcefully to my smeller.

Whatever the reason, whenever I'm bikin' the morning route, I smell bacon.

As the years tick by, my eyesight may be fading, and my hearing a little less keen, but I do believe that I have the nose of a bloodhound....and it makes my mouth water.

Guns and Vinegar

2011-09-14T11:45:00.000-06:00

I have a student that worked as a guide in hunting trips for bears.

Student: “So, Sister Smith is there an all-purposevinegar that you can use in the kitchen?”

Me: “Well, whitevinegar seems to have the least flavor, but recipes that use specific vinegarusually need that flavor. For example,rice vinegar is needed to give the right flavor to an Asian salad.”

Student: “Thatexplains all the vinegars that my mom has. She’s got a whole shelf of ‘em. Iasked her why she had so many blasted vinegars. She said, ‘Same reason you have so many guns.’”

Bob n Me

2011-09-13T11:48:00.004-06:00

The bike route that I follow is undertaken at precisely thesame hour each day. Consequently, Ioften pass the same people. A peppywalker with turned-out feet and a springy step comes regularly from theopposite direction. I’ve been passing (I’llcall him Bob) each day and after so many days of greeting nods, I felt it appropriateto take it to the next level.

I greeted Bob with a cheerful, “Good Morning!” His response, silence. With all the wires coming out of many people’sbrains through their ears, I assumed that Bob probably didn’t hear. The next day I tried again….silence. The next day….silence.

I examined Bob's head carefully on the nextpassing and noted a distinct absence of wires, so he must hear me. I tried again and again….silence. Then out of the blue, a hit! Bob responded with a staccato, “Hi.” Then nothing, day after day after day.

Bob must know me. Perhaps I am just frightening the dearfellow. However, it’s difficult toresume the pretend-we-don’t-recognize-each-other approach after that onesubstantial hit.

3,127 miles

2011-09-10T18:15:00.002-06:00

Love my red TREK

shifting and braking - awesome
tires - fast
seat - comfy
accessories - all great additions
bell - melodic
handle grips - ergonomically correct

Today's total mileage = 3,127 miles of joy :)

Fi Fi

2011-09-09T17:50:00.000-06:00

While on the Provo River Trail, I have lately been amazed and perplexed to see a great number of miniature dogs on parade, a cacophony of guinea pig-sized yappers on leash. These fierce little defenders of territory are usually mismatched with the living creature on the other end of the leash.

After having observed how scary the trail can be in the dark and noting all the shadows that lurk outside the beam of my headlight, I was surprised to round a bend and come face-to-snout with a pint-sized mongrel led by a young thing in hot pink running shorts. I laughed out loud as I envisioned her commanding, "Sic 'em Fi Fi!" as she commanded her pooch to ward off a would-be attacker.

Today, that was outdone by a black chihuahua dressed in a white and pink tu-tu led by a burly tattooed male.

Although I probably could never catch him and he most certainly would not allow the procedure, I may make the attempt to bring Eddie along clad in a little cowboy outfit, complete with boots and hat.....just so I fit in.

2011-09-07T18:23:00.000-06:00

I have a very long list of Most Embarrassing Moments. I hardly flinched as my lecture hall of 120 students burst into muffled laughter as I announced, "The government has decided that we will no longer be using the old food guidelines to a nutritious diet."

Mixing a confused combination of the pronunciation of MyPyramid and ChooseMyPlate, I announced, "Today, class we will be studying My Period."

Christmas Treat

2011-07-28T20:16:00.000-06:00

If the closet door is shut, I'm in there on my little Rubbermaid stool eating Christmas. Every year Dean gives each member of the fam a one-pound box of chocolates.

With all the other tasty delights that fill the season, that's a lot of chocolate in December. The trick is to sample everyone's box, then with stealth, wrap my own gift-wrapped box in four layers of plastic and hide it in the deep freezer behind the chicken tenders.

Then comes goody deprivation in July.

The home is silent and empty, so with great pomp and ceremony, I shave the ice from the chicken tenders and pry out the treasured box. Quietly stealing into the closet, I peel each layer of plastic wrap from the package and tear off the gift wrap and open the box. Before me lies the glossy map of flavors and the single layer of bubble wrap. Immediately both the map and the bubble wrap are included in the wrappings and tossed in the trash.

Christmas is mine as I select a cherry walnut fondant with dark chocolate. Double yum. This will get me through until the goodies of Halloween are upon us.

Counting My Blessings

2011-07-27T20:02:00.000-06:00

Wonderful view of the mountains out my front window.
Knees that work.
Organized and clean workplace.
Access to clean water.
One good eye.
Great parents and siblings.
Awesome children.
$ to buy Charmin and Q-Tips.
Amazing hubby.
Days off.
Perfect mattress.

July

2011-07-23T20:51:00.002-06:00

Good Dirt

2011-07-12T13:48:00.001-06:00

Ahhh.....

This morning I encountered good dirt. Only a true gardener knows the feel, the scent, the ease of digging in a spot of rich, dark, moist soil. Scratching through it with my 3-pronged digger serves a couple of purposes I suppose: oxygen is delivered to the roots of nearby plants and happiness fills my heart. One doesn't want to leave the garden when such a discovery is made and my morning shower was postponed until 11.

Good dirt in Utah is not easy to come by. We do not have the advantage of centuries of decaying forest or plant materials to enrich our garden beds where we lovingly place tender roots. A discovery of good dirt makes one recognize the hands that brought such soil into existence. I've always been in awe of my mother's good dirt and am beginning to appreciate my own.

Happy Years

2011-06-18T09:21:00.000-06:00

Advice

2011-06-16T16:32:00.000-06:00

What is the secret? For an experienced restroom user, one would think that placing the seat cover on the seat would not require planning and positioning.

Is it best to just balance the cover on the seat and then sit hard enough to force the center open? Often the front falls into the water and before the fanny hits the seat with its neatly positioned cover, whoosh, the cover is gone!

Is the better technique to tear each of the three points securing the middle before placement? This method most often results in the whole thing immediately dropping into the toilet bowl and results in a feeling of defeat before the actual mission even begins. Most of the time the restroom visitor is hopping around so frantically just entering the facility that time is greatly limited. This technique is definitely the most time consuming.

Or, does one throw caution to the wind and sit without covering? In this case, 99% of the time, the poor unsuspecting fanny will surely be met with someone else's liquid leftover.

Bingham Canyon

2011-06-08T20:10:00.007-06:00

If you grew up knowing the canyon, it is pronounced kang-yun. Visiting my Aunt Naudyne, Uncle Walt, Celece and Lynnann was always a highlight of the summer. I haven't been back for decades and today a flood of memories accompanied my visit to the copper mine.

The same type of copper bracelet bought each summer, a mine car, truck tire, the pit, mercury (the kid in school with the biggest stash was the coolest).

Amazing activities that were NOT ALLOWED, but participation therein was mass FUN!

dissolve metal in "copper water" (toxic blue water that ran in secret locations)
play on the railroad tracks and squish pennies
swing over a cliff on the rope swing
climb the 30 foot railroad tie retaining walls instead of using the ladder
slide down the mine tailings
ride without hands or helmets (not even invented) as fast as our bikes would go down the canyon, my cousin holding Shadow, the dog
blow stuff up with firecrackers
explore abandoned buildings (especially the Civic Center where local kids would rollerskate on the old basketball court and try not to fall through the gaping holes in the floor to levels below)
swing on the gate of my cousin's white picket fence

Copper Hill and Downtown Bingham

Things that happened only in Bingham:

waking to the sound and shaking of my aunt's little wooden white house when the trains passed at night
hearing the emergency siren when there was a mine accident
standing out of the way as my uncle, a volunteer firefighter, rushed to the rescue when the "fire phone" rang
knowing that "on strike" was a very bad thing for families of miners
clenching your jaws when Aunt Naudyne dug gravel out of wounds and applied a healthy dose of straight rubbing alcohol (crying was the ultimate shame)
selling rocks to tourists (fool's gold was always a hit)
slamming our goodies on the counter at Pete's and saying, "Charge it."
coming home with hand-me-downs that were "store bought"
visiting a lady with a huge salt and pepper shaker collection
standing on the sidewalk and shouting at Eric's house to see if he could come out and play

Amazingly wonderful stuff at "The Copper Shop," where we hung out, but rarely purchased anything.

Who Was Thinkin' Here???

2011-06-06T16:43:00.002-06:00

The Lindon Walmart moved the restrooms to the back of the store, behind the photo area. It should be illegal to change the layout of any store. The absurdity with the new facility is that the ladies room has three stalls and EIGHT sinks! What's with that??? I've never seen a lineup at the sinks.

At least they removed the doofy sinks pictured at the left. Their skimpy water flow required a five minute misting spray to get even a drip of water.

And what's with touch free soap dispensers. Don't you wash your hands under running water once you've got the soap on 'em?

Tree Planting

2011-06-02T10:54:00.000-06:00

About a year ago I attended a day-long seminar in Farmington with the Utah Master Gardeners. It was an awesome day and my departure was paired with a list of must-haves and would-likes. Among the must-haves was the PURPLE FOUNTAIN BEECH tree. Buying a tree is a huge commitment. One must first determine the perfect location in the yard, research the tree's characteristics, find a nursery with the tree, and dig a proper hole. Digging the hole is a science in and of itself.

The mode of operation to keep my sweet hubby happy with my gardening gig is to dash off to the nursery early in the morning, make my purchase, plant the acquisitions, and then make sure that all of the evidence is neatly in the garbage can before he arrives home from work. Years later his query usually is, "Is that new?" Pulling this off often involves super human powers.

Yesterday I decided to find my coveted tree. After asking a helper in the nursery about the PURPLE FOUNTAIN BEECH tree, I was told that only the "tree expert" could help me. I waited dutifully until he was finished dispensing his scholarly knowledge upon another gardener and asked my question. I could see his eyes light up and detected a change in his posture as he answered in the affirmative. He said that he would take me "out" and show it to me. In nursery lingo this means you are going far from the regular customers, to mecca, tree heaven, with the "tree expert". I felt giddy with excitement as we approached the targeted row of trees....and there it stood....magnificent....breath-taking. The price tag on a tree with a name like PURPLE FOUNTAIN BEECH, will always contain three numerals, but one must not look, only forge forward.

The tree was wrestled into my Honda with much straining on the part of the "tree expert" and many worried glances from shoppers in the parking lot. My mission at this point was to get the PURPLE FOUNTAIN BEECH home, into the ground, and all evidence removed. I backed the car into the garage, fetched the old red wagon, lined it up under the tailgate, and used my super human powers to lift the 100 pound root ball into the wagon.

Even with both feet straddling the root ball, fanny in the air, and controlled grunt and strain breathing techniques, I was unable to attain even a small degree of success. Undaunted, I grabbed a shovel to use as a lever and was able to raise the root ball the necessary 3 inches so it could slide out and into the wagon. It ended up being more of a drag and drop technique, but it was in the wagon. There certainly are better transporting vehicles than a child's little red wagon, but the super human powers kicked in and transport was complete.

After this, digging the hole was just too much, so sweet hubby agreed to do the job. State of Utah Master Gardener Larry Sagers says to always get the tree in the ground the day you buy it. So in the dark, with a spotlight, sweet hubby and Eddie dug the hole.

When I awoke this morning, I dashed to the window and saw it standing there in its new home. Scampering across the lawn to make sure that it had been placed correctly, Eddie and I are happy to report that all is perfect, but my back is killing me.

Remembering

2011-05-30T15:42:00.000-06:00

...my Grandma Laird (always wore a dress and hosery, had her hair done, smelled good and had a nice dry kiss)
...my Grandpa Laird (was a picker, lived off coffee and sweetrolls 'til well into his nineties, loved to fish, had a wet kiss. I'd kiss him first, then my Grandma would dry it off with her kiss and they didn't see me wiping off anyone's kiss.)
...my Grandma Jensen (excited beyond belief to see you, was a hummer, had a candy drawer with hard marshmallows and Black Jack gum, made bread in old cans)
...my Grandpa Jensen (seemed stern, was tall and handsome, the epitome of the American farmer)
...my Aunt Rae (made butter, cleaned eggs, had a great giggle, open policy on the candy dish)
...my Uncle Paul (would play knuckles with you 'til you swore you might die from the pain, always cheerful and would have you tell him about yourself, kind of a tease)
...Gwen (loved people and all their business, kept count of relatives in attendance at all family functions, always had a new project)

Orem Cemetary, Gwen's gravesite

Orem, Payson and Mapleton cemetaries, then breakfast at Village Inn

Self Timer

2011-05-28T14:47:00.000-06:00

The self timer feature on my camera is awesome.....sometimes I make it, sometimes I don't.

Racing around the lake in 10 seconds - didn't make it.

Second try - made it.

Garden

2011-05-26T18:42:00.002-06:00

Let the Battle Begin

2011-05-25T00:16:00.000-06:00

Salad for slugs. That is what my efforts have yielded in the past week. I will not be outdone!!!!
My arsenal to be rid of the slimey creatures is "Slug Be Gone" and crushed egg shells. The little darlin's better have x's in their eyes by morning.

The colius that was welcomed into my yard wimped out at the cold weather and decided to leave their bodies here on earth and travel to heaven.

I have to keep telling myself that the "ing" is the part of gardening that makes for success. In the long run, only the survivors are allow to remain in my garden.

Slugs - be warned, I just purchased $31.99 of slug bait and it has been sprinkled around each of the salvia plants (your personal favorites as of late).

So......BE GONE!!!!

Hangin' Out

2011-05-23T16:59:00.000-06:00

This afternoon I hung out with Kenny and Dean. Awesome conversations:

TOPIC - DRUG ABUSE
Dean - "You know that stuff they put in cough syrup's the same stuff they make meth out of?"
Kenny - "Yea, bad stuff."
Dean - "Sure works though. Fifty bucks for a bottle this size (hand gesture). Ya know, if ya had to pay the full price."
Kenny - "Gits that s outa yer lungs though."
Dean - "Sleep like a baby too. I take a teaspoon."
pause.......
Dean - "Think I otta cut her back to a half."

TOPIC - OMAR-N-ESTER
Dean - "That Ester could talk yer leg off."
Kenny - "Great Lady, Ester."
Dean - "Yea, I's out workin' on that ol' green truck, layin' under her, when Ester pops her head in over me. I asked how Omar was. She says, 'Oh, you know Omar.... Ya know, I figgered when Omar came along, I better marry 'im, might be my last chance.' "
Kenny - "She always said, 'If ya don't git what ya want, want what ya git.' "

TOPIC - COLON CANCER
Dean - "Sure glad they got all yer cancer."
Kenny - "Yea, I figger I'm pretty d lucky. If I hadn't stopped up, they'da never checked. Probably shouldn't say the details, but they came in from the top as far as they could, then up as far as they could an' ya know the little bend ya make, that's where it was. Took out 'bout 8 inches."
Dean - "Good thing they could hook ya back up."
Kenny - "Gittin' tired a bein' waited on though. Kids got the tomatoes too close, but I ain't sayin' nuthin. Kim was sposed to git my car fixed. By d, I think I'll just buy a new one. Manon says I can't, but you gist watch me."

....love the characters from hubbies ol' hood....

The Journey

2011-05-22T18:45:00.002-06:00

While attending my nephew's wedding reception at the White Willow in Provo on Thursday, I asked my sweet daughter and her handsome husband if this place brought back memories. My brain is filled with great thoughts of that beautiful day three years ago when the White Willow was theirs for the day as they began their journey of life together.

Thursday was a busy day with many people and much activity, so I'm sure that Megan-n-Josh weren't aware of the person that told a person that told a person that told a person that told me that they saw the two of them steal away to the arbor where they were wed and share a kiss and a hug.

.....made this ol' mom's heart happy....

Enjoy your journey of love.

Wanna

2011-05-19T08:59:00.003-06:00

I wanna do this!

Insight

2011-05-17T09:38:00.002-06:00

FREEDOM RIDERS is the powerful harrowing and ultimately inspirational story of six months in 1961 that changed America forever. From May until November 1961, more than 400 black and white Americans risked their lives—and many endured savage beatings and imprisonment—for simply traveling together on buses and trains as they journeyed through the Deep South.

Sometimes I wonder how I got so old and know so little. I watched "Freedom Riders" last night and learned much.

Food is Good

2011-05-16T14:32:00.003-06:00

It started out that way....and I still feel that there's not much better than chocolate, a cold slug of milk, and a cup to fill with most anything.

Limping

2011-05-11T14:57:00.002-06:00

The sun is out and my feet celebrate their escape from shoes and socks. What better way to celebrate than by slipping on the flip-flops and getting a pedicure? Lately, I have not had good luck with the nail care industry. The last time I had my nails done, they hurt me. "So saw-dee," followed several gouges with the electric drummel to the cuticle. Time fades the memory of pain, so with a joyful step I entered DaVinci Nail Salon for my springtime pedicure.

"You wan calusel?" I interpreted to mean, "Do you want your calluses gently removed?" Throwing caution to the wind, I responded in the affirmative. "That be 10 dalla mo." And thus began the torture.

It all started innocently enough with a bit of filing and clipping of the nails, but then she smeared on some sort of callus remover (with rubber gloves - I should have had a clue) and placed my feet in baggies. With the massage chair set at full intensity, I closed my eyes and tried to relax. Every so often I felt a stinging sensation which became a bit more stabbing with time, but I so enjoyed the chair....

I have used a pumice stone before so I am familiar with the technique of rubbing calluses with the stone until they are gradually removed. Well baby, there was no gradual with this gal. She pulled out a grinding stone the size of a full pound of butter and began her assault. The heels were okay, but when she laid into the arches (Does anyone have calluses there???), I felt myself weakening and began to wince each time she took strokes vigorous enough to remove barnacles from the hull of a ship. "Oh, so saw-dee, dat hut?" would surely be followed by a more gentle technique. No such luck.

My mind wandered from the relaxation of the massage chair to wondering whether the footbath water might be turning pink from my blood. It is a good thing that I chose bright red polish to finish up the job or people might have noticed the drips of blood around my fleeing feet as I made my way to the polish dryer where a sign was clearly posted, "Fan will shut off when you move out of your hands." Would this take an out-of-body experience to finally escape?

I always, always tip. Somehow, today, I couldn't bring myself to it. When I got out to the car, I examined my feet. It looked like I had decided to slide barefoot down a rock embankment. I headed to WalMart to purchase some antibacterial and bandages. This is not an exaggeration! My kids accuse me of exaggerating - not so today.

On a happy note, the toenails are quite pretty and will look good as I prop them up for relief, because walking without a limp is out of the question.

Giddy with Joy

2011-05-09T17:05:00.001-06:00

Visiting a nursery, early in the spring, when it's raining outside, when nobody else is planting, gives immense joy to a true gardener. Before a nursery visit, all half-started projects must be complete so that purchases can be made without guilt. One must feel confident that the newbies feel immediately welcomed and at home.

Black, rich potting soil was lovingly and carefully deposited along the lawn edge on the south side of my house. In the rain, it was leveled and Swiss Chard seeds that had sprouted on a paper towel-lined cookie sheet were placed in their little furrow and gently covered. Rain took care of the rest as a coupon-blessed customer cruised to the target destination in American Fork.

Finding solid flats of annuals is a treat because the little plants seem to do better throughout the year and one feels noble, somewhat smug, getting a better price.

Impatiens were purchased.... lavender

and white....

Geraniums never come in a solid flat, and one can justify their purchase if the mental monetary limit for the day is not reached. The intoxicating fragrance of geranium leaves takes control over any power of reason. The aforementioned coupon kept the purchase just under the limit.

When the rain eased up and the weather verified online, geraniums were welcomed into my yard. Impatiens will have to wait until the threat of a few cold nights passes. They are snuggled nicely against the garbage cans in the garage awaiting their turn.

Whamo!

2011-05-05T19:21:00.001-06:00

Sitting calmly in one's exercise wear, sipping hot cocoa, watching "The News Hour," is hardly the place one expects to receive an emotional whamo. The mind is set in the "off" position as the Bin Laden impact on the upcoming presidential election is debated. Sigh.....

Without warning, Liberty Mutual runs a short add showing people being nice, doing kind things. Then the whamo, "Every day millions of people are choosing to do the right thing." I hate it when I unexpectedly get choked up over a TV ad,

...in my exercise wear,

...sipping hot cocoa,

...watching a "News Hour" debate.

Bring It On Darla

2011-05-04T20:00:00.004-06:00

Thanks to my old pal Darla, another section of the bathtub has flaked off. Once again, the call was made and we waited 2 months for an appointment.

At 9:30 a.m. sharp I was ready for my appointment in the 10 a.m. to 1 p.m repair time bracket. With the preparation skills of an expert, I removed the screen and window from above the tub and masked the window frame and stationary window. From past experience I know that the deadly white paint mist would make its way to the screen, never to be removed. My mind raced as I frantically applied a coat of furniture wax on all bathroom surfaces. This was utter genious on my part to make the inevitable paint overspray and drips easier to remove. I even gave a generous application to the faucets and shower head. All other rooms were closed off, pictures taken off the walls, rugs removed, fans turned off, and the worrying and waiting began.

I am no dummy. This time I was ready and would prevent any possible skrew-up. Bring it on, Darla.

At 1:30 p.m. there was still no sign of my repair crew. After anxiously waiting and calling for 4 hours and 45 minutes, the white-nostril-haired (from above said mist) guy in painter's coveralls arrived. I whisked him off to the bathroom and showed him the flakeage.

Him: "Eh, yup, yup, looks like it's flaking." "Eh-yup, yup, looks like she sprayed over the caulking."

Me: "Yup."

Him: "Shouldn't take too long."

An hour later, he announced that it was all done and we shouldn't use the tub for 24 hours. My first thought was that maybe we should never use it, perhaps just call it art and longingly remember back to the days when our worries were not about our tub, but about wars, sick kids, or global warming.

I'm beginning to feel that this lifetime warranty may be a disguise just to see who wears down first. Ha! They must not know who they are tanglin' with.

Tribute

2011-05-01T19:31:00.005-06:00

My girl shall live,
Within a tent.
Her dreams come true,
Through hard work sent.

With springtime rains,
And summer heat,
Her college goals,
Will not be beat.

Her bones upon,
The earth she’ll lay.
And from the gov,
Collect her pay.

She soon will wear,
Her fancy pants,
With pockets huge,
For grub and ants.

Her massive boots,
Will trudge through mud.
Granola treats,
Will be her bud.

The forest trails,
She will put down,
With ax and pick,
And ne’r a frown.

The bush and briar,
She’ll chop and whack.
We hope she lives,
Through bear attack.

She’s on her way,
So look out world.
Her outdoor self,
Is now unfurled.

And when she’s done,
All bronze and buff,
We know our gal,
Shall take no guff.

DANG!!!

2011-04-26T15:00:00.000-06:00

Beat THIS for a lunch date!

Easter Message

2011-04-24T19:27:00.002-06:00

Psalm 27:1
"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? the Lord is the strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?"

Sorry U Winter Haters

2011-04-23T18:02:00.000-06:00

Velvet, velvet, velvet, velvet....

Saturday at Alta was velvet. You in-the-know folks understand corduroy snow.

Velvet is where new snow has filled in the corduroy ridges and it feels like you are gliding over velvet. Wheeeeeee.

Not a powder-day thigh buster, but an
easy gliding,
easy sliding,
sighing day.

Thank you Alta.

Thank you Snow Gods.

Thank you for the delivery of an amazing day for me, my sweetie and the other fans that occupied mountain splendor.

Boston, Urban Spoon & Us

2011-04-21T17:44:00.000-06:00

A lovely vacation was completed on April 20 with pretzels, peanuts, and cookies provided by Delta Airline. The IPhone App, "Urban Spoon," guided us through Boston.

It began April 13 in the same way: pretzels, peanuts, and cookies on Delta. Luckily, when we arrived at our hotel, there were chocolate chip cookies and hot chocolate (I really like it when there's a hot beverage offered FOR FREE with a room). We urban spooned for the finer elements of life: omelettes, sea food, amazing scallops, shrimp, red snapper, cookies, bakeries, Greek food, Asian salad, well-made bread (you can pretty much tell if a restaurant is going to measure up if it starts out with good bread), crab, lobster, hot sugar cookies on the day of THE BOSTON MARATHON (there were lots for us cause of all the skinny people with expensive shoes around town), favorite dry mix formula hot chocolate (swiss miss with 1 hazelnut creamer and 1 french vanilla creamer and 1 regular creamer and 1 packet splenda - ALL FREE with room), Belgian waffles (not as good as my sweetie's), pasta, baklava, bagels, soft pretzles, phyllo custard, spinach ravioli in cream sauce.

A great trip....

Oh, and we saw some history stuff....

Oh, and Tyler.

Happy Birthday

2011-04-10T20:22:00.001-06:00

Happy 21 Rachel ! ! !

Party at Hilary and Dennen's Home

Party Goers

Finn's Lunch

Finn after lunch

A...L...M...O...S...T...

2011-04-09T16:47:00.003-06:00

In many years of mountain fun, there have been few mishaps. Every now and again, a moment of, "HOLY COW THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE," occurs. My brain follows with, "That was almost IT, the BIG ONE, the END."

Seared into past memories is a day that my loving brother duped me into going off a jump with 40 feet of air beneath. Upon impact, flesh, bones, and equipment bounced three times before coming to rest.

Another memory of sudden impact followed a scream of, "LOOK OUT!" as an out-of-control snowboarder tested the strength of my body to stay in one piece.

Well, today will join those other memories.

Knee-deep powder took me among the trees, but it also entertained another skier on the opposite side of the trees. Awareness of each other only took place as we both rounded the same tree from opposite directions at exactly the same moment. C R A S H !

I was able to stay upright, but the poor fellow ended up kissing a tree, losing a ski, and burying himself head-first at the base of said tree. I turned around to help as I heard the calls from the lift, "Are you okay?" This is always an indicator from those with an excellent observation point that things are not okay.

And then, this is not a lie.....my partner of ALMOST biting the big one didn't move for a little while. Relief came to my shocked, but still beating heart, when his legs started twitching so I knew he was alive. Guys do not like to be helped up by ladies that they have just hit, but I dug his equipment out and helped get things straightened around. We both agreed that, "It could have been a lot worse." He instructed me to tell "the leopard guy" that he was coming. Yes, his ski partner was dressed in a leopard outfit, but that's another story.

We did see him skiing later in the day, so all was well. However, as we ate our lunch in the car, sweet hubbie exclaimed, "Isn't that the guy you hit?" Sure enough, he was putting his equipment on his car to leave....and....I....think....I....detected....a....limp.

Eleventh Commandment

2011-04-07T14:47:00.000-06:00

Because I was in the neighborhood, I dashed into Walmart to pick up some flannel to make a blanket for a friend's soon-to-arrive baby. As I passed the nail salon, I thought, "I have the time today to have my nails done." Yes, I know that you just received an almost electrical shock through your system, knowing how badly I hate to sit hand-in-hand with a stranger while he inflicts both physical and psychological pain. You want to shout, "Abort! Abort mission!" If only you'd been there for me....

However, after the first mind-numbing hour, fingers submerged in a bowl of straight acetone that was being absorbed directly into my bloodstream, I began to marvel at the circus of humanity that exits the checkout lines at Walmart. Before these observations, I had also thought, "I'll stop in at the hair salon to have my hair trimmed since I'm in the beautifying mood."

Luckily, somewhere in my subconscience, I heard my own, "Abort mission!" cry, and heeded the warning. As I sat and watched, I became particularly aware of bizarre hair styles, or lack of style. The pony wad is a common look for both genders, young and old.

After 90 minutes and four bloody cuticles, the frantic need to flee won out and I heard myself cheerily say, "Oh, that's okay, I don't need to let them dry. I'll be careful," as I flung the cash at my tormentor. Merging hurridly with the exit crowd, now with one smudged nail, I remembered words of wisdom from my dad as he observed similar models of humanity....

"If the Lord saw that one, there'd be another commandment."

War Update

2011-04-06T22:09:00.001-06:00

So the war continues to rage. I thought it was four nights, but was informed that we are in for another night tomorrow.

Things I've learned....

youngest soldier in the war....12 years old
number of soldiers under 15 years old....150,000
that song "Battle Hymn of the Republic" was about....The Civil War (well, that sheds some light on the lyrics)
number of Americans killed in the Civil War...618,000
when blacks were allowed to fight, they made up 1% of the population, but 10% of the Union forces

I Am Trying

2011-04-05T21:48:00.000-06:00

I admit it, I ran screaming from the room. Memories of junior high and high school history class flooded my brain as I recalled the fuzzy-brain syndrome of, "I can't remember this name, this battle, this location, this underlying reason for carnage, this unexplainable blood bath."

I have pledged to sit through the 4-night Civil War movie (2 hours each) with my sweetie (he loves history, battles, the names, the locations, the reasons, etc., etc., etc.) made by Ken Burns. I have listened for years to others tell me that this is a great and moving tale and I am trying....

The effort is genuine and the third night was almost complete before I fled to the kitchen in dire need of toast.

It is being recorded by the box thingy under the TV screen so that I can regroup and take smaller bites. It may take me three more nights to complete the next viewing.

Perhaps the gray matter is smarter and I'm learning new stuff, but I wonder if in two months I will remember the details. My high grades in history were earned by a devotion to the report card, not the content matter.

......but........I am....trying....again....

Spring Morning Next Day

2011-04-03T17:34:00.001-06:00

Spring Morning

2011-04-02T08:21:00.001-06:00

I appreciate the bright contrast of color to brown and gray surroundings.

$$$$$$

2011-04-01T18:10:00.000-06:00

Ah-hah. I just found out who can buy the watch. The CEO of Johnson & Johnson makes .......now get ready.....hold on to your hat......SEVENTEEN MILLION DOLLARS PER YEAR. Sorry, Denise, I know he's your boss.

You might want to ask for a raise.

Holy Smackeral

2011-03-30T14:25:00.002-06:00

Just found this watch and was shocked at the price. Is there anybody on this whole planet Earth that would spend $54,800 for a watch??!!?

Wyler Geneve

Men's Dakar Rally Mechanical Tourbillion Black Perforated Dial Black Alligator

List $156,800.00

$54,880.00

You Save: 65%

Perhaps I'm just out of touch. However, shipping is free.

14.8 feet

2011-03-29T19:42:00.000-06:00

Just in case you are interested, 14.8 feet of snow (base) remains on the slopes at Alta. There have been 561 inches (total snowfall) this year. That's 46.75 feet of total snowfall. Can you even picture that much in your head???

Here's the shocker. With 14.8 feet still on the ground, resorts are closing. In November the masses flock to the hills where there is a mere 8 inches on a 12-inch base of man-made junk. Life doesn't make sense sometimes.

Monday

2011-03-28T18:08:00.000-06:00

The day is done,

My feet doeth ache.

Asparagus soup,

I shall partake.

My bod upon,

The couch will rest.

Until I doze,

Then bed is best.

And when I wake,

With plans galore,

The same ol’ thing,

Begins once more.

Mountain Gear Tip #10

2011-03-26T18:45:00.000-06:00

Have fun! There is no bad weather, only improper clothing. There are no bad days, just some better than others. Enjoy the air, the company, the mountain, and the opportunity to take one more breath on this good ol' earth.

Mountain Gear Tip #9

2011-03-26T18:43:00.000-06:00

Keep your fingers and toes warm.

Nothing is going to heat your toes (except battery powered footbeds) so you have to keep the warmth in. I invented toe hats, which is thinsulate sewn between two layers of flannel that fit just over your toes (think mittens without the thumb). Wear these under your socks. Someday I shall patten them.

If your fingers get cold, purchase the best mittens you can find. This can be a harrowing feat since most outdoor-wear shops don't carry those for -20 degrees. The hunt is worth it.

Mittens are warmer than gloves. Liners make them warmer, chemical heaters make them even warmer, placing your thumb under the warmer and then tucking your thumbs into your palms keeps things even warmer. And for the ultimate warmthness, shove the above arrangement under your arms for the lift ride.

Mountain Gear Tip #8

2011-03-26T18:30:00.000-06:00

Always, always, always, always, always, always, always ski in control.

Difficult Step

2011-03-25T11:57:00.000-06:00

The most difficult step on a run is the heel strike from kitchen to street. I hereby give permission to quote this sagely wisdom.

If you are a regular reader of this blog, you may have benefitted from other sagely advice on Mountain Gear: Tip #7, Tip #6, Tip #5, Tip #4, Tip #3, Tip #2, and Tip #1
After our next trip to the mountain, I shall wrap it up with a few other tips. There should be at least 2 feet of new snow after today's storm.

Here, for spring, are a few running tips:

Never get rid of your old pair of running shoes. Alternate days with new shoes until you love the new shoes.

When the new shoes become old shoes, buy new, but keep the old new/now old.

Hats from resorts extend the ski season in an imaginary way.

Pleasant music with a good beat makes for delightfulness in running.

It's nice to peel off layers as one warms up.

Hot feet are not happy feet. Thin socks are great.

Velour pants from the 80's are great for cold-weather running. They may, perhaps, be stylish once again.

Today

2011-03-24T17:29:00.000-06:00

A glimpse of spring in my yard today....

Top of the World

2011-03-20T16:40:00.000-06:00

On Friday we lived the dream - cat skiing at Powder Mountain. The cat takes you to the ridge line above the resort, the ski patrol guy points the way down, and you go! AWESOME and AMAZING !!!

Snow Cat, Us at the Top, Garth on Sunrise

Our Ski Patrol Guy, Warning Signs, My Sweetie and Me

Project

2011-03-17T20:11:00.000-06:00

A group of neighborhood friends are getting together to do a craft project. I have to pick 8 photos from all of these wonderful choices.

Any suggestions???

One

2011-03-14T19:26:00.000-06:00

one cube, one pound, one cup, one can, one HUGE bowl popcorn = one sugar-loaded nauseated gal

There is no leaving this stuff alone. It was prepared Saturday afternoon, eaten that night, munched on Sunday after church and throughout the day, slicked off today............burp.

For those unfamiliar with the recipe: one cube butter, one pound brown sugar, one cup corn syrup, one can sweetened condensed milk, one HUGE bowl popcorn. Cook stirring constantly until the gooey mass reaches the soft ball stage. Pour over 5 - 6 batches air popped popcorn.

Sigh....

2011-03-13T19:42:00.000-06:00

Our Mistake

2011-03-12T21:50:00.000-07:00

My friend was taking an afternoon nap and woke up because something was hammering on her house. She listened, rolled over and went back to sleep, awoke again because of more hammering. She thought that it was a woodpecker, but it stopped again, so she went back to sleep again. When it started up again, she went outside to shoo away the offending woodpecker. However, what she found was all of her siding on the front lawn and a guy up a ladder tearing off the rest of her siding.

She asked him what he was doing and he told her that he was replacing her siding. She knew nothing about it and hadn't ordered any siding. Short story was that he was one street off on the address. He replied, "Sorry, our mistake, but yours is all bent up now so you'll have to replace it. Would you like me to have someone give you a quote?"

WH - - A - - A - - A - -TTTTT?

She acutally had them give her a quote and she PAID to have it replaced. Those of you who have heard about my friends know that this could me none other than Willie!

Solitude Today

2011-03-11T16:48:00.000-07:00

Ski Pal

2011-03-10T20:55:00.000-07:00

So I counted up the years on my fingers and came up with 37. Yes, I had to use some fingers twice. That's how long I've had my ski pal SueAnne.

We went to Disneyland after high school graduation, were college roomates at USU, became teachers, were roomies again after college, attended each other's wedding celebrations, arranged play time for our kids together, and swapped ideas on child rearing, education, home life, religion, politics, health, trama coping, and pretty much anything else that might be hashed out on a lift ride to the summit of our wonderful Rocky Mountains or at dinner as our husbands chat about sports, computers, and careers.

Each fall we both carefully examine and share information to get the best lift rates and plan our days off so that we can take advantage of the greatest snow on earth. We be lucky gals.

Toxic Chops

2011-03-09T16:49:00.000-07:00

The proper procedure for handing meat in our foods lab is to sanitize all surfaces that have come in contact with meat. The steps are: rinse, wash with soapy water, rinse, spray with sanitizing spray (1 tsp. bleach in 1 qt. water), rinse. This is taught with great enthusiasm and accuracy. Shocking case studies are included for drama and impact.

Fast forward to the gray matter hard at work.

Student: "I'm a little unclear on the sanitizing procedure. I just wanna make sure that this is the stuff I spray (indicating the sanitizing solution in a clearly labeled spray bottle)."

TA: "Yes, that is the sanitizing solution."
Student: "Okay, will it get the sink too."
TA: "?????" "Let me walk over and see what you're talking about."

The pork chops were tidily lined up in the SINK ready to receive a thorough drenching of BLEACH solution. This student's precious gray matter is among the top 10% of all gray matter available for inclusion at our fine university.

....sigh....

Schrinch Nose

2011-03-08T21:07:00.000-07:00

Favorite Chemicals

2011-03-07T11:35:00.000-07:00

When there is a chemical that will do the work for me, I'm all about using it. Here are some of my personal favorites:

* Round-Up (a gardener's best friend)
* Thuricide (a gardener's second best friend)
* CRT (like Lime Away, eliminates scum)
* Baking Soda and Vinegar (clears the drain if followed by 5 gallons of boiling water)* Oven cleaner (removes old grease)
* Al Chem Wax Remover (gets rid of petroleum based paints and wax)
* Ammonia (soak hair brushes and combs then rinse away hair product)
* Greased Lightning and SOS pads (dissolves built-up grease on pans)
* Muratic Acid (you'll have to sign a waiver for me to disclose uses)
* Ajax (solid surface sink cleaner)
* Chlorine bleach (removes stains in towels)

"Ahh...." you are thinking, "What an enlightening post."

Ruler of His Domain

2011-03-04T18:29:00.000-07:00

"Is there life after formula?"

"Back off the strained prunes and nobody gets hurt."

"Dessert first makes for one happy kid."

"Shopping stinks."

New Career

2011-03-03T18:10:00.000-07:00

While relaxing on the sofa with my M & M's treat (pour one layer of M & M's into a cereal bowl one layer deep and microwave 30 seconds), I was impressed to ponder the possibilities of a new career.

My TV viewing enlighted moment came during a program explaining the crucial need to preserve the coastal waters of the Pacific Ocean along California. As we know, Californians are always the first to lead the rest of us idiots into nirvana. It seems that there are people paid to bob along under water counting kelp. Hmmm....pretty fish....underwater sounds....counting....floating....occasional side strokes....lunch on the beach....pretty fish...underwater sounds....counting....floating....occasional side strokes....

Forget it, I'd have to get off the sofa.