After returning from a road trip to Jackson Hole, Wyoming, I let my mind wander to some of the restroom perplexities of life.
- Why is the height of some toilet paper dispensers at ankle height?
- Why are some paper towel dispensers above shoulder height, allowing water to run from your hands to your armpits before the paper snatch can be achieved?
- Is there a reason that there is only a 4-inch hole from which to fish for the end of the toilet paper that is on an eighteen-inch mega roll?
- How are we to guess which arm waving gyration will illicit the dispensation of papers, lotions, foams?
- After washing your hands, are we really safe from deadly disease for the day if we open the door with a towel, then hold the door open while balancing on one foot so that we can make the trash can shot?
- What is the average number of pumps to the foam or soap dispenser for a thorough hand clean?
- Do those flat rolls of toilet paper that stop after you've taken two squares really save trees?
- Are the new foams a money saver or do the pouches that they come in cost the owner more?
- Does toilet paper that is as thin as the wings of a gnat requiring the user to pull off 350 yards in order to accumulate a finger-tip wad really cut back on total paper usage?
- How many paper towels does it take to dry hands and doesn't it depend on the size and thickness of the towel?
- Is there a huge lucrative market for inventing a truly unique and confusing restroom paper or soap dispenser?
- Whatever happened to those cloth towels that you dried your hands on and then they wrapped back up into the machine?
- Did the guy who picked up those dirty towels die of some dread disease?
- Do most people just wipe their hands on their dirty jeans (which have been sitting in who-knows-what over time) after trying the power air dryer?
- How do the cleaning people feel about clean-up after liquid soaps vs. foams?
- Does an increase in mileage between available restroom facilities directly correspond to a decrease in cleanliness?
- When the sign says, "Restrooms Are For Customers Only," and your car doesn't need gas, do most people buy something to be a customer?
- If we didn't consume a cooler full of snacks and drinks, would there be a need for all the stops?
