Perfect weather, fun bike trails, great company, and loads of lizards.Friday, May 14, 2010
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Friday, May 7, 2010
Railroad Track Riding
The latest word from the medical community is that I am going to shatter like a tea cup on concrete if I take a spill. Seems that with age comes "thinning bones." To rectify the situation one must:
- Sit in the sun to absorb vitamin D (not an option for a red-headed sun fearing "burner")
- Choke down calcium pills the size of unshelled peanuts (integrated throughout your day)
- Stop smoking (thank heaven I never started, I might be bitter to quit at this age)
- Throw in a little magnesium and silicon (beer is the food item with the most silicon - not an option in my professional setting)
- Lift weights (I'd rather build a rock fence than sit in a sweaty gym staring at a wall as I count reps)
- Spend time exercising on a vibration plate like the astronauts use (only if I get the trip to the moon along with the pain inflicted by this device)
- Eat enough vegetables to sprout long furry ears, a fuzzy tail, and the ability to scratch behind said ears with a hind foot (perhaps the prep time would fit between weight lifting, calcium/magnesium/silicon monitoring, and sun bathing)
- Choose ancestors that are NOT light-skinned fog dwellers (hmmm)
- Strive to be overweight by at least 40 pounds throughout your 30's and 40's (drat, more candy bars would have been nice)
I am a problem-solver by nature, so I plan to put on my swimming suit, sling on my backpack and head up the canyon where I will divert my regular smooth bike ride to a bone-jarring ride along the railroad tracks. Each day I will fill the backpack with river rocks, dine on crispy watercress and stinging nettle, and return via same railroad tracks to my yard where I will begin the construction of a six-foot rock wall from the collected river rocks. Slitting an aloe vera leaf will allow ample application of the soothing gel to my sunburn after which I can devour the outer leaf.
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