Being a popcorn enthusiast, I have come to know quality corn on a most personal level. Each night, my air popper delivers a great bedtime snack right before my bubble bath and reading. A full batch of popcorn is sprinkled with one and a half teaspoons of real butter and salt. Swedish Fish or Dots are then added to provide wonderful textural contrast. This is a fine science and crucial to my sleep patterns. Without a bedtime snack, I wake at 3 a.m. ravenous for something to eat.
With all due respect, I have trusted you with this important element of my life and you have disappointed me. 8 lbs. of popping corn usually gets me through the winter, but after my Fall purchase at Costco, I am sorry to report that at least 1/4 of the kernels do not pop.
Actual Orville Redenbacher Popcorn and Swedish Fish |
From the photo on your label, you appear to be a very kind and happy man, but I cannot imagine such a sweet person wearing that smile if you knew the distress you have caused. Parting your hair on the side would be much more flattering, by the way. I have tried sticking a knife under the front of my popper to keep those unpopped kernels in the popper longer, but it is really hard to keep the popper balanced on a knife and I fear electrocution or fire.
Kind regards,
M. Smith
P.S. 3451132000 01 07:57 BEST BY NOV 10 2012 is printed on the lid. I don't think I can keep eating it that long.
1 comment:
You do know that dear ol' Orville is enjoying the hereafter, perhaps you could find a direct route to him there. Imagine the popcorn there.
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