$$$

Seriously:  Who spends this for sunglasses???  They will be sat upon, lost, or dropped out the car window on I-15 at 85 MPH as one tries to keep pace with Utah County traffic.....



This was the HOT DEAL on Yugster.com
Retail Price: $250.00

Yugster Price: $62.97

Call me cheap.

Lift Conversation

Me:  "Did you hear that our dentist broke both legs?"
Hubbie:  "No that's too bad."
Me:  "At least he can still get around."
Hubbie:  "I guess that kind of job would be good if you broke both legs."
Me:  "He was putting up Christmas lights."

.....audible GASP from the guys sharing the quad chair lift with us.....

Them:  "Thank goodness!  We just flew in from Chicago and this is our first run.  We thought it was a skiing accident."

Don't Fold Underwear

After a few years of folding other people's underwear, I deemed it an unnecessary effort.  As soon as it is tidily tucked in the drawer, the wearers use the egg beater approach to find their favorites.  Done.  I will match socks, but that's as far as it goes.  Clean undies are delivered in a wad to the wearers' drawers.

Other household tips:
*scrub tubs and showers while you're still naked
*dust with anything that you have in hand at the time (socks are great)
*mop using two dishtowels, one under each foot, then launder using bleach

*use the washing machine as a salad spinner
*a lawnmower works great for grinding yard waste
*use the dishwasher to clean floor vents and proof bread (not at the same time)
*sort and hang kids' clothes in matching sets and lower closet rods to their height
*use drawers only for p.j.s and underwear
*if the windows are dirty, close the blinds
*assign chores as soon as children can walk
*you'll never have to turn socks if they are removed by standing on the toe
*vacuums suck up Barbie clothes and army men
*mud trackers must remove their shoes
*pass the Windex to travelers in the mini van so they can shine the windows
*for easy vomit removal, cover car seats with towels...just shake out the chunks and launder
....then spend your time skiing....

Fun Night

After work, we headed out of smog-filled Happy Valley to smog-filled Salt Lake Valley to go to dinner and see a play.  My coupon for Christopher's saved us $25 - ka-ching - and the play was great fun.

The play is a farce set in a London flat during an electrical blackout, and is written to be staged under a reversed lighting scheme: that is, the play opens with a dinner party beginning on a darkened stage, then a few minutes into the show "a fuse blows", the stage lights come up, and the characters are seen scrambling around apparently invisible to one another.

To top the evening off, we listened to the BYU Cougars defeat San Diego.  A perfect night, with the exception of a few traffic scares compliments of sweet hubbie :)

Need Answers - Hope?

Just see what is promised - AT LAST!!!

Harry and David - "HAPPINESS Delivered."

Land's End - "REFRESH, RECHARGE, REBUILD,"  "WE'VE GOT YOU COVERED."

Cabela's - "CELEBRATE With Us."

Harris Seeds - "EVERYTHING You Need For Gardening at Home."

L.L. Bean - "Rewards Come EASY."

Champion Sportswear - "The WORLD'S BEST Sports Bra."

........ Awesome!  Give me your address and you can have these answers delivered right to your door.....

Napping Nose

Curious thing lately -

Whenever I nap, my nose freezes.  This does not ever occur at night when I sleep.  During the day, our home is warmed to 72 degrees.  I do not understand.

My nose literally wakes me from slumber and covering my face with the pillow, blanket, or hand obstructs oxygen flow.

Must I give up napping altogether, or perhaps have my daughter crochet me a nose sock that still allows nostril breathing?  Naps are necessary.  It is getting rather infuriating.

Chocolate Lovers Day

The Location  -  Solitude

The Players

The Freebies
 

The Score ! ! !

Vacuum Story

Ever watch a chicken bob around and peck at scattered corn in the barnyard? 

For over a year something has been wrong with our vacuum.  One pass over the visible chunk of junk and it would be a no-pickup.  Six or seven passes would sometimes get it.  This would instigate the bob and peck method of bending over to retrieve the gunk by hand, vacuum in one hand, pecking with the other.  Mysteriously, the hose worked fine.

The vacuum was disassembled countless times to find the clog (one time it was clogged with marigolds because it was used on the front walk for a quick pickup after gardening).  Finding no apparent clog, the online search for a new beater bar began.  Lost in cyberspace for hours on end, one was located in Rhode Island for $35 plus shipping.  Hopes were that this would be the magic bullet necessary to make cleaning efforts worth the huge physical toll.  WRONG - the bar was bran' spankin' new and no improvement.  Our fine gray baby was gutted once again and it was determined that perhaps the wheel height thingy majiggy was not working, so the wheels were torn off, the adjuster reassembled and still, no suction through the head.

A shiny new red replacement vacuum was purchased in a fit of desparation right before Thanksgiving.  RC Willey Outlet will sell floor models already assembled, a huge plus for items with over 749 screws.  Not willing to give up on the old one, dear hubbie hauled our gray baby to the repair shop.  The guy said that it was probably a clog and it would be $40 to look at it.  Dismayed, hubbie replied, "THERE IS NO CLOG, WE'VE HAD IT APART A BAGILLION TIMES!"  They plugged it in and fired her up.

Mr. Sparty Pants Repairman tilted it back and shoved his hand into the head.  This is something always avoided in our home, fearing the loss of limb.  The deadly mass of string, hair, and pins combined with a spinning brush is a sure combination for blood loss.  However, with a gentle touch the brand new $35 beater bar stopped mid turn.  "Looks like your belt's bad, I'll sell you a new one for $2.50."  Seems the bar will still turn when the head is lifted, but stretches out over time and stops when it touches the floor.

The chicken pecking routine used to clean our floors has been replaced by suction power that would suck the skin off a golf ball.

Funny Ol' Married Folks

It's interesting how ol' married folks take on roles over the years.

She - turns down the bed at night and puts the decorative pillows on the floor, next morning makes her side.
He - makes his side of the bed and puts the decorative pillows back on the bed.

She - reads and marks the maps.
He - drives and remembers exactly where we've been with the compass in his head.

She - scrubs the tub, shower, toilets.
He - squeegies the shower door.

She - gives the alert of any burned-out lightbulb.
He - gets the chair to replace bulbs.

She - weeds and gardens.
He - mows.

She - counts the pennies, nickles, and dimes.
He - keeps track of the big picture.

She - brings the garbage can in from the street.
He - takes it out to the curb.

She - measures and marks.
He - makes the cut.

...and the miracle of all this is that we are blissfully happy with these arrangements...

Dang Cute

Sigh....

Double sigh....



Yawn

To all of you that are praying for this warming trend, STOP ALREADY!!!  You are messin' with the snow conditions.

This morning all available tools to check the mountain were used.  We knew that rain at lower elevations was a possibility, but not the other events.

Yawn - Grab the gear - Make the lunch - Pack the car - Depart - Stop at La Baguette Bakery to give them one last chance - Nasty day old doughnuts - Arrive at Solitude - Raining - Lifts closed due to high winds - Eat breakfast at Silver Creek - Served the wrong breakfast - Return home - Eat packed lunch for skiing - Nap - Vacuum - Yawn

The Escape

Escaping the SMOG...

The Escape

The Return - Holding Our Breath

Tears Today

This week we saw a white Catholic Republican federal judge murdered on his way to greet a Democratic woman member of Congress, who was his friend and was Jewish. 

Her life was saved initially by a 20 year old Mexican American college student who saved her and eventually by a Korean American combat surgeon. 

Then it was all eulogized and explained by our African American president in a tragic event.

That is a remarkable statement about the country.

May we, as Americans, be a kinder, gentler people.

Ah - HAH !!! - Mountain Gear Tip #5

Guilt is the emotion felt when one more plastic food container is shipped off to the landfill.  The object in my left hand was stashed in our pantry because of this guilt.  I collected various sizes and used them to tote food to our church when sweet hubbie and I worked in the nursery.  Somehow throwing it in the trash at the church didn't feel as bad.  At least it was used several times.  An ah-hah moment occurred to me on my trip to the mountain today....LUNCHBOX!  Success, no squished sandwich.

I am not a convert of reuseable grocery bags, but my niece gave me this feather-light, amazing bag for my birthday and it has hung by the back door since then.  Today, ah-hah....a TOTE for essentials when traveling to the mountain in a friend's car.  Boots - check.  Hand warmers - check.  Hat/Goggles/Gloves - check.  Lunch - check.

Mountain Gear Tip #5 - When the fam was bigger we used two laundry baskets; one for the lunch, one for equipment.

Sometimes I'm so clever, I amaze myself.

Bedtime

If you eat dinner around 5 o'clock, you need a little something right before bedtime.  Cooked nine-grain cereal is top on my list, with a close second of toast (sometimes plain for dunking, other times with chunky peanutbutter and freezer jam) and milk.  Ultimately, and under the best circumstances, these items are consumed while I am in the bathtub relaxing after the nightly news (sports omitted, weather included in winter but not summer). 

During summer months the cereal is swapped out for popcorn, dots, and a diet coke.  This combination is consumed from the recliner while watching the news, not after.

Brushing, flossing, swallowing the vitamins comes next, then prayer.  This sequence of events is followed by reading until I mentally note, "I am so tired, I will not remember reading this page," or until the book hits me in the face.  Lately I have found great enjoyment sucking on sugarless Ricola cough drops or chewing gum (sugarless peppermint) while reading.  I wonder how many folks chew gum as a nightly relaxer.....  Surprisingly, chewed gum makes a good bookmark if flattened in the foil wrapper.  Then you don't have to get out of bed to throw it away.

Sweet hubbie usually comes to bed after I have fallen asleep and I entertain him by speaking in some foreign outer-space language.  He humors me by responding and I feel stupid because I know I've spoken gibberish.

Feels good to have a routine.

Humanoid Trumps the Mountain

Our plan to ascend the mountain on Saturday was replaced by a visit from a 25-inch humanoid.

Four adults on the floor with undivided attention focused on a twelve-pound marvel, making "talk" clearly understood and enjoyed.

Four adults using whatever face, sound, gesture, or movement that might entertain, cause laughter, or instigate a hip wiggle from the wee one. 

Four adults enjoying good deep belly laughs triggered by the humanoid's twisted-face aversion to strained carrots or the residual spiciness on the lid of a salsa jar. 

Four adults absorbing nano-second body relaxation against our chests, counting these moments of stillness as snuggles amid a non-stop exploration of the world and all the tastes, textures, and sounds therein.

Four adults understanding the pure joy of watching the rolling, touching, chewing, squealing, babbling, and kicking of one 7 months in our presence and clearly in command.

Four adults relishing moments, squelching distractions, delaying projects, rejecting obligations, and staying outside activities when, clearly, love is spoken here.

Winter

Ahhh....winter.

Positives:  pest-free gardens, ample balancing and slip recovery practice, dust free roads, no need to exercise during "red air quality" days, increased need for comfort foods, use of "function over fashion" footwear, improved self preservation reflexes, appreciation for balmy days over 10 degrees, hairy legs/chests/faces a plus, no worry of sunbleached carpets or upholstery, near sightedness makes limited visibilty a non-issue,  zero guilt for unmowed lawns, opportunities for 4WD appreciation, fewer shopping trips......

......until, perhaps, May???

Coming Down Off Chocolate

The holidays are officially over when humanity returns to school, work, or both. The frequent trips by the candy dish are reduced as people find their way back to their daily rut. Easing gently into reality generally includes steps to change the color of our blood from the chocolate-induced brown back to a vibrant red. The addict may include the following steps to make the transition possible:

*Move the chocolates from your nightstand to just outside the bedroom door.  This increase in distance will make the first consumption of chocolate later in the day, thereby reducing the total hours available to indulge.

*Consume a non-chocolate food before the chocolate chip cookies planned for breakfast.  This will fill your stomach so less chocolate will be needed during the meal.  Chocolate cocoa puffs work nicely and count as cereal.  Consuming chocolate milk does not count against you because of its liquid state.

*Ease gently into a mid-morning snack by adding fruit to your chocolate.  A caramel-dipped, chocolate covered apple sprinkled with English toffee bits is a good beginning.  Make sure to eat the whole thing.

*At lunch, you will need to build your stamina for the rest of the day.  Eat all the chocolate you desire.  No other foods items are necessary.

*Work on picking up an orange.  The pinch and grasp muscles in your hand need to be strengthened and are accustomed to the chocolate-covered-orange-stick pinch and grasp.  At first you may feel a repulsion or aversion to this motion, perhaps the gag reflex will kick in.  THIS IS NORMAL.  Do not attempt to eat the orange.  Mastering the pick up may take weeks.

*At dinner, set out a placemat and make sure that a defense of chocolate goodies (any type will be okay) are placed on the placemat around your plate.  Prepare SMALL PORTIONS of your favorite meal. Ask your loved ones what those items were because your mind has most likely purged any reference to non-chocolate items.  During dinner, try to taste each item on your plate, but quickly include something from your placemat defense strategy as needed.

*Before retiring for the night consume something rich and chocolaty.  Return the chocolates that were placed outside your bedroom door to your nightstand.  The deprivation during the day may require chocolate fixes throughout the night and their mere presence will allow a more peaceful sleep.

Good luck.  Remember that this is a slow process.  Take baby steps.

Drat

Two very ingenious posts on this blog have been sucked into cyperspace by the error of cursor placement.  Until later....

Wishing Star

For those with heartache, discouragement, sadness, dispair, and disappointment - Through my open window into the icy night air, I wished upon a star for you:

Star bright, star light,
First star I see tonight,

I wish I may, I wish I might,
Have the wish, I wish this night.

Stoooopid

When is it appropriate to spew a food item on the floor?  Today was the day.  Sweet hubbie had warmed some cocoa in the microwave for me, but, because of my short attention span, it cooled before I had time to sit and enjoy. 

An additional 30 seconds in the microwave and an immediate chug illicited the response to immediately spew it on the floor.  Good thing too - or my touch would have spit like a hot dog over an open fire.  Dangling the injured tongue under cold water delivered some relief and the moment made a smarter lady of me.

New Year's Resolutions

In 2011 I shall:



Run varied routes, have more parties, think before speaking, eat more vegetables, and sing out loud.