Friday, January 7, 2011

Coming Down Off Chocolate

The holidays are officially over when humanity returns to school, work, or both. The frequent trips by the candy dish are reduced as people find their way back to their daily rut. Easing gently into reality generally includes steps to change the color of our blood from the chocolate-induced brown back to a vibrant red. The addict may include the following steps to make the transition possible:

*Move the chocolates from your nightstand to just outside the bedroom door.  This increase in distance will make the first consumption of chocolate later in the day, thereby reducing the total hours available to indulge.

*Consume a non-chocolate food before the chocolate chip cookies planned for breakfast.  This will fill your stomach so less chocolate will be needed during the meal.  Chocolate cocoa puffs work nicely and count as cereal.  Consuming chocolate milk does not count against you because of its liquid state.

*Ease gently into a mid-morning snack by adding fruit to your chocolate.  A caramel-dipped, chocolate covered apple sprinkled with English toffee bits is a good beginning.  Make sure to eat the whole thing.

*At lunch, you will need to build your stamina for the rest of the day.  Eat all the chocolate you desire.  No other foods items are necessary.

*Work on picking up an orange.  The pinch and grasp muscles in your hand need to be strengthened and are accustomed to the chocolate-covered-orange-stick pinch and grasp.  At first you may feel a repulsion or aversion to this motion, perhaps the gag reflex will kick in.  THIS IS NORMAL.  Do not attempt to eat the orange.  Mastering the pick up may take weeks.

*At dinner, set out a placemat and make sure that a defense of chocolate goodies (any type will be okay) are placed on the placemat around your plate.  Prepare SMALL PORTIONS of your favorite meal. Ask your loved ones what those items were because your mind has most likely purged any reference to non-chocolate items.  During dinner, try to taste each item on your plate, but quickly include something from your placemat defense strategy as needed.

*Before retiring for the night consume something rich and chocolaty.  Return the chocolates that were placed outside your bedroom door to your nightstand.  The deprivation during the day may require chocolate fixes throughout the night and their mere presence will allow a more peaceful sleep.

Good luck.  Remember that this is a slow process.  Take baby steps.

2 comments:

Birrell Family said...

I have been eating my chocolate non stop and must admit I was quite sad when I pushed the paper wrappers around in the box and there were no more hidden pieces... then I did the unthinkable... I moved on to Larry's box

MSmith said...

I always take the papers out as I go so that I won't be disappointed at the end when all that's left is paper.