Non-Christian Zone

The closer I drive to my employment destination, the more insane and cut-throat the drivers.  Ironic, in that my destination is an employer of  "uber-mo's."  Only those in our group of a "peculiar people," understand the meaning of  "uber-mo."  In our race to the Celestial Kingdom, this really happens:

• cyclists must ride in the gutter as cars will run them over and they are not allowed on sidewalks
• the right-hand lane next to the sidewalk is a high-speed passing zone
• speeds exceed 60 mph on Canyon Road and top out at 80 mph passing LaVell's stadium
• drivers accelerate through crosswalks if a pedestrian is not squarely centered on the car's radiator
• no eye contact is made with other drivers so the "I am Christian if I didn't see you" cut-off can be accomplished
• a minimum of 5 cars must turn left on a red light
• squealing of tires can be heard in parking garages as drivers vie for coveted spots
• under no circumstance is anyone allowed to merge into traffic
• both cyclists and pedestrians crossing at an intersection are flattened if a driver can turn right on a red and beat oncoming traffic
• fasting is required to exit your car as each parking spot must accommodate 1.5 cars
• all cursing is done without lip movement so as to appear kind and within the bounds of our honor code

After five years of observing these odd behaviors, it makes one wonder about the transition from Sunday School class to daily life.  Pedal to the metal baby......and show no fear....