Tuesday, November 30, 2010

Scare


On Mondays I arrive at work in the dark and depart a mere 11 hours later in the dark, exhausted and perhaps a tad negative about humanity.

Upon my northbound return to home, I deviated from my normal route on University Avenue (a bumper-to-bumper mass of homebound burned out nut cases) to a more relaxing route on Provo Canyon Road.

As I approached my westbound turn, an oncoming car began flashing the high beams. After checking my beam level and determining it appropriate, I proceded without flashing back. It became apparent that I would have to glance to my right to avoid total blindness. Just then I saw that the oncoming beam flasher had stopped and an Eskimo clad six-year-old on his bike was crossing this busy road in a pitch black crosswalk. I slowed, pounded my brakes to alert the drivers behind, and held my breath. The little goomer made it across

and I wept.


Be careful out there and watch for the unexpected.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Tree Day



  • Willing Decorators - check
    Breakfast - check
    Surprise Gifts - check
    Smiles - check
    Laughter - check
    Sweet Rolls - check
    Holiday Spirit - check
    2 Hour Limit - check

Friday, November 26, 2010

Thanksgiving

Turkey - check
Dressing - check
Cranberries - check
Mashed Potatoes - check
Gravy - check
Rolls - check
Grandma Jensen's Salad - check
Green Salad - check
Sweet Potatoes - check
Pasta Salad - check
Pumpkin Pie - check
Lemon Meringue Pie - check
Apple Pie - check
Family - check
Bliss - check

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Darla


When remodeling our bathroom, the ingenious idea of having a new tub crossed our minds. "STOP!" our minds should have screamed to the logic center therein. A new tub would have involved new plumbing, new fixtures, plus the tub itself. At the time, it did not seem practical, so I responded to the advertisemant in the paper for Artistic Bath, had them come and tell us the magic they could do, and agreed to a one-day makeover. The mystical paint would "last a lifetime" and "give us a brand new tub" in just a day.

Enter: Darla.

My first impression was, "My what a cheerful and talkative lady." And thus the spraying began. She guaranteed that the paint would be contained in the bathroom since the door was shut. The fumes soon squeezed their way out from under the bathroom door and spread throughout the house. After a quick errand to the store, I entered the my home into a thick, dense, white fog. When I made my way down the hall, I found the bathroom door wide open and Darla merrily spraying along. My thoughts became, "This lady's got to be stoned out of her mind...."

Upon her departure, I made a quick once over and deemed the job well done. However, as the vapors settled, I found major drippage all over the tub and bathroom, not to mention the film of white paint that settled on EVERY SINGLE horizontal surface in the house. It took weeks of scrubbing with a cottonball and nail polish remover to rid our dwelling of paint. Since there was a lifetime guarantee, we called them back to fix the drips.

The next year, to fix the flaking off in one of the corners of the tub.

The next year, the peeling of paint off the soap holder.

The next year, the separation of paint from around the drain.

The next year, the peeling near the floor.

It is now an annual event and since the first fix, we are now charged a $48 "service fee" for having a beautiful tub for "a lifetime." We often hear an audible groan when we call to tell Artistic Bath that it was

D - A - R - L - A

who completed the job.

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Students' Magnificent Meals






































These are examples of my students' final project - Magnificent Meals!!!

Look for variety in:

*color

*texture

*temperature

*shape

*flavor

Completed in 2 hours, following a time management plan, nutritionally sound, within a budget of $2.50 per person, artistically designed on the table and plate.

Monday, November 22, 2010

The Perfect Apple Pie

We use 925 pounds of apples for our “Apple Pie Week” at BYU. Over the past 4 ½ years, that’s 2017 pies. So here’s what works:

- pastry flour (has less gluten than all-purpose flour, but more than cake flour)
- COLD refrigerated Crisco shortening (no off-brands)
- plastic wrap in the measuring cups used for shortening (aids in clean-up)
- ICE water
- a pastry blender to cut 1/3 of the shortening in until it is as fine as rice (lubricates the flour for tenderness)
- a pastry blender to cut the remaining shortening, but keep these chunks as big as kidney beans (creates pockets of fat that create flakiness)
- when adding liquid, do so gradually using a lift and pat motion with a rubber scraper (gentle handling so that gluten does not develop and crust remains tender and flaky)
- let the dough sit for about 10 minutes so that the flour can absorb the water before adding the last bit of water (you might not need it)
- pat the dough out on floured plastic wrap to ¼ inch thickness with your hands, keeping the edges smooth before rolling
- roll the dough between two floured sheets of plastic wrap(keeps it all together and helps with cleanup and transferring the dough)
- use ½ granny smith apples and ½ golden delicious
- buy yourself an apple peeler, corer, slicer to do the apple prep
- use a glass pie pan (holds the heat so the crust gets done)
- make sure that the juices are boiling in the pie during baking (you may have to add time)
- use a foil collar on the edge of the crust to prevent overbrowning

The recipe does not matter as much as the ART of assembling the pie, but just in case, here’s our tried and true recipe:

Pastry: 2 ½ C. pastry flour, 3/4 C. shortening, 3/4 tsp. salt, 8 to 10 Tablespoons (1/2 c. plus 2 T.) ice cold water

1. Combine flour and salt in a mixing bowl.
2. Gently cut in shortening with a pastry blender until pea sized.
3. Sprinkle 6 tablespoons of the cold water over flour mixture, tossing lightly with a fork or rubber scraper. Add the remaining water 1 tablespoon at a time, tossing with a fork, and press to the side of the bowl until all is moistened.
4. Divide dough in half, and gently pat into 2 lightly flattened balls. (Don’t over-work your dough at this point. You should just gently gather the dough into two slightly flattened pieces, not two tightly compressed dough balls.)
5. For a 2-crust pie:
Bottom - On a lightly floured surface, roll one ball from center to edges, to form a 12” circle. Fold in half or roll the pastry around the rolling pin. Unfold or unroll it over a 9” pie plate. Ease the pastry into the plate, and, using kitchen shears, trim the dough so that there is a one-inch overhang of pie dough. Fill the crust with the desired filling.
Top - On a lightly floured surface, roll the second ball from center to edges, to form a 12” circle. Place the top crust on the filling, and cut slits or shapes to allow steam to escape. Using kitchen shears, trim the pastry one inch beyond the rim. Fold the top edge over the trimmed bottom edge, and flute the edge to seal.

Bake pie as directed on individual recipes.

6. For a lattice top pie:
Bottom - On a lightly floured surface, roll one ball from center to edges, to form a 12” circle. Fold in half or roll the pastry around the rolling pin. Unfold or unroll it over a 9” pie plate. Ease the pastry into the plate, and, using kitchen shears, trim 1” beyond the rim of the pan. Fill the crust with the desired filling.
Top - On a lightly floured surface, roll the second ball from center edges, to form a 12” circle. Using a pizza cutter, cut the pastry in 1/2” strips. Starting at the center of the pie, weave the strips over the filling to make a lattice. Press the ends of the strips into the rim of the bottom crust. Fold the bottom crust over the strips, and flute the edge to seal.

Bake pie as directed on individual recipes.

Filling
6 C. prepared baking apples (peeled, cored, and sliced)
3/4 C. packed brown sugar
2 Tbsp. flour
1/4 tsp. ground nutmeg
½ tsp. cinnamon
1/8 tsp. salt

To use on completed crust: 2-3 Tbsp. milk, raw sugar

1. Preheat your oven to 425°.
2. In a mixing bowl, combine brown sugar, flour, nutmeg, cinnamon and salt.
3. Peel, core and thinly slice apples. Add apples to cinnamon mixture and toss to coat.
4. Pour filling into the prepared bottom crust.
5. Place top crust over filling as directed above. Brush the crust with milk, and sprinkle with sugar.
6. Using FOIL, fold a 12” square of aluminum foil into quarters. Cut out the center section, making a 7 ½” circle. Unfold the foil and place the square section over the pie. You may also use a long strip of foil 5 inches wide to wrap around the pie. When placing the foil on the pie, place the shiny side out to reflect the heat away from the crust. Loosely mold the foil over the edges to protect them from burning.
7. Bake for 35 minutes. Remove foil, and bake for 15 to 20 minutes more until the crust is golden and the filling is bubbly. NOTE: You may want to protect the bottom of your oven from the molten syrup in case it spills out of the pie during baking.

Freezing Pies

Before freezing a pie or pie shell, make sure you tightly wrap it in plastic wrap or foil. Remove plastic wrap or foil before baking.

*Pie Shells
– Baked stored for 4 months. Heat at 350º for 6 minutes.
– Unbaked stored for 2 months. Bake right out of freezer.
*Fruit pies
– Baked stored for 4 months. Heat at 325º for 45 minutes.
– Unbaked stored for 3 months. Heat at 475º for 15 minutes, then at 375º for 45 minutes.
*Cream, Custard pies & pies with meringue
– Cannot be frozen
*Pumpkin & Pecan
Bake before freezing. Stored for 4 months. Heat at 325º for 45 minutes.

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Gaa-hhh


The hardest thing I've done lately - pushups.

A young body says, "Me thinks I shall be stronger."

An older body says, "Me thinks I shall die."