Darla

When remodeling our bathroom, the ingenious idea of having a new tub crossed our minds. "STOP!" our minds should have screamed to the logic center therein. A new tub would have involved new plumbing, new fixtures, plus the tub itself. At the time, it did not seem practical, so I responded to the advertisemant in the paper for Artistic Bath, had them come and tell us the magic they could do, and agreed to a one-day makeover. The mystical paint would "last a lifetime" and "give us a brand new tub" in just a day.

Enter: Darla.

My first impression was, "My what a cheerful and talkative lady." And thus the spraying began. She guaranteed that the paint would be contained in the bathroom since the door was shut. The fumes soon squeezed their way out from under the bathroom door and spread throughout the house. After a quick errand to the store, I entered the my home into a thick, dense, white fog. When I made my way down the hall, I found the bathroom door wide open and Darla merrily spraying along. My thoughts became, "This lady's got to be stoned out of her mind...."

Upon her departure, I made a quick once over and deemed the job well done. However, as the vapors settled, I found major drippage all over the tub and bathroom, not to mention the film of white paint that settled on EVERY SINGLE horizontal surface in the house. It took weeks of scrubbing with a cottonball and nail polish remover to rid our dwelling of paint. Since there was a lifetime guarantee, we called them back to fix the drips.

The next year, to fix the flaking off in one of the corners of the tub.

The next year, the peeling of paint off the soap holder.

The next year, the separation of paint from around the drain.

The next year, the peeling near the floor.

It is now an annual event and since the first fix, we are now charged a $48 "service fee" for having a beautiful tub for "a lifetime." We often hear an audible groan when we call to tell Artistic Bath that it was

D - A - R - L - A

who completed the job.