People in my church were tolerant of the Laird kids, maybe I just didn't pick up on any signs of disapproval, or perhaps I have just forgotten ever being caught doing any misdeed. My church-going hours were enriched by my ability to:
- Roll stuff down the chapel floor of the green church. It was slanted and marbles could go a good distance during Sacrament meeting.
- Hunt for the baptisry. It was in the basement somewhere under the stage and was often unlocked. - Hide the sacrament under my belt for a snack later.
- Listen to Sister Richins, Sister Huish, and Sister Christensen singing in barbershop harmony at the pulpit. I thought it would be neat if they'd just add bubbles. They sounded just like the gals on the Lawrence Welk Show.
- Count the chins on Sister Liston's neck, yes every fold, as she led singing in primary.
- Report to my family about the upper thighs of Sister Adair looking like plucked turkeys. She bent over way too many times for the eyes and minds of seven-year-olds.
- Have contests with the kids next to me to see who could peel off the biggest hunk of varnish from the back of the benches.
- Pull a split-end hair out of the head of the person in front of me and see how much farther it could be split. Yea, sometimes they jumped when you pulled it out.
- Plan a way to get to the top of the steeple. Rumors were that a few had done it and there was some pretty awesome stuff up there.
- Sail paper airplanes out of our second-story Sunday School classroom window.
- Pretend to like the birdseed snacks (yes, they were made of bird seed) that Sister Chittock handed out from her health food store. At Christmas she did give us a pure maple sugar Santa which was more palatable.
- Silent-giggle my guts out during meetings by adding "in the bathtub" after the names of hymns. I could make my sister snort outloud, which drew some glances. I Stand All Amazed In The Bathtub, Abide With Me In The Bathtub, Choose The Right In The Bathtub. Makes me giggle even now.
- Dare the kid next to me to bend their fingers back to touch their wrist like I did.
- Give the added nudge to any kid tipping on their chair that would sent them to the floor.
- Play tag in the gym.
- Roll stuff down the chapel floor of the green church. It was slanted and marbles could go a good distance during Sacrament meeting.
- Hunt for the baptisry. It was in the basement somewhere under the stage and was often unlocked. - Hide the sacrament under my belt for a snack later.
- Listen to Sister Richins, Sister Huish, and Sister Christensen singing in barbershop harmony at the pulpit. I thought it would be neat if they'd just add bubbles. They sounded just like the gals on the Lawrence Welk Show.
- Count the chins on Sister Liston's neck, yes every fold, as she led singing in primary.
- Report to my family about the upper thighs of Sister Adair looking like plucked turkeys. She bent over way too many times for the eyes and minds of seven-year-olds.
- Have contests with the kids next to me to see who could peel off the biggest hunk of varnish from the back of the benches.
- Pull a split-end hair out of the head of the person in front of me and see how much farther it could be split. Yea, sometimes they jumped when you pulled it out.
- Plan a way to get to the top of the steeple. Rumors were that a few had done it and there was some pretty awesome stuff up there.
- Sail paper airplanes out of our second-story Sunday School classroom window.
- Pretend to like the birdseed snacks (yes, they were made of bird seed) that Sister Chittock handed out from her health food store. At Christmas she did give us a pure maple sugar Santa which was more palatable.
- Silent-giggle my guts out during meetings by adding "in the bathtub" after the names of hymns. I could make my sister snort outloud, which drew some glances. I Stand All Amazed In The Bathtub, Abide With Me In The Bathtub, Choose The Right In The Bathtub. Makes me giggle even now.
- Dare the kid next to me to bend their fingers back to touch their wrist like I did.
- Give the added nudge to any kid tipping on their chair that would sent them to the floor.
- Play tag in the gym.
- Roll my socks into doughnuts.
- Find ants on the floor of the chapel to play with. They would crawl over my hands and up my arms until I turned them loose on the bench in front of me, sometimes making their way up a person's neck.
All said, God's love and the saintly love of those who didn't throw me out, kept me coming back for more.
All said, God's love and the saintly love of those who didn't throw me out, kept me coming back for more.
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