Been There Done That

Some people don't like to boast of their past employment opportunities, so I shall for this young man. He's been a:
*paperboy for three days
*mower of lawns
*mortgage loan reviewer
*court clerk
*BYU Morris Center cook
*researcher of onion data
*fireworks guard for Stadium of Fire (yes, odd for a pyromaniac)
*loan shark
*commercial loan underwriter
*temp worker at a Brazilian bank
*teacher of English in Brazil (the bank wasn't paying and a guy's gotta eat)
*tax preparer for non-English speakers (scarey)
*Mervyn's intern
*sandwich maker
*paintball gun salesman
*computer game code dealer
*greeter at fitness center
*tree and bush mover
*email screener
*explosives engineer
*maker of sheep skin lampshades